Principal Robin Wood: Now, guys, look, we can settle this one of two ways. You can repaint the walls, or I can suspend you and report this little incident on your permanent record.
High School Kid 1: Fine. Do that.
Principal Robin Wood: OK, I was bluffing. I hadn't really thought that one through. Listen, this whole permanent record thing is such a myth, anyway. Colleges never ask for anything past your SAT scores, and it's not like employers are gonna be calling up to check to see how many days you missed back in high school. So, listen, I, I could suspend you, but that would mean calling your parents, alerting your teachers, filling out paperwork, and, quite possibly, having to talk to the School Board, all of which sounds positively exhausting to me. No. No, I think it would be much easier if I just called the police, let them deal with it. Oh, and, in case you're wondering, this is the part where I'm not bluffing.
High School Kid 2: We'll repaint it.
Buffy Summers: How's your guy?
Anya: The weasel wants to sing. He just needs a tune.
Xander Harris: He's primed. I'll be pumping him in no time.
[Buffy and Anya stare at him, and Xander realizes how unintentionally homoerotic that sounded]
Xander Harris: He'll give us information soon.
Buffy Summers: How did you do it? How'd you get your soul back?
Spike: Saw a man about a girl. I went to seek a legend out. Traveled to the other side of the world, made a deal with a demon.
Buffy Summers: Just like that?
Spike: No, not just like that. There was a price. There were trials, torture, pain and suffering... of sorts.
Buffy Summers: Of sorts?
Spike: Well, it's all relative, innit?
Buffy Summers: Meaning?
Spike: Meaning I have come to redefine the words pain and suffering since I fell in love with you.
Buffy Summers: How can you say that?
Spike: Apparently, I just slaughtered half of Sunnydale, pet. I'm not really worried about being polite any more.
Buffy Summers: [about Spike] He-he mentioned something about a song in the cellar. Uh, and he-he changed there, too - I mean, instantly became another person.
Xander Harris: Trigger.
Anya: The horse?
Xander Harris: No, in his head. It's a trigger. It's a brainwashing term. I-It's how the military makes sleeper agents. They, they brainwash operatives and condition them with a specific trigger, like a song, that makes 'em drastically change at a moment's notice.
Willow Rosenberg: Is this left over from your days in the Army?
Xander Harris: No, this is left over from every army movie I've ever seen.
Andrew Wells: Don't kill me!
Willow Rosenberg: I'm not gonna kill you!
Andrew Wells: Don't torture me and send me to an eternal pain dimension!
Willow Rosenberg: I'm not gonna!
Andrew Wells: Warren killed Tara. I didn't do it, and he was aiming for Buffy anyway.
Willow Rosenberg: Not making it better.
Andrew Wells: And you got your revenge. You killed my best friend. We're even.
Willow Rosenberg: Even? You think I get satisfaction from what I did?
Andrew Wells: Maybe not, but let me keep my skin, okay? I'm not bad, I'm not bad anymore. I'm good, I do good things now.
Willow Rosenberg: Then, why do you need lots and lots of blood?
Andrew Wells: I am bad. I'm bad. I'm evil. But I'm protected by powerful forces. Forces you can't even begin to imagine, little girl. If you harm me you shall know the wrath of he that is darkness and terror. Your blood will boil and you will know true suffering. Stand down, she-witch, your defeat is at hand...
Willow Rosenberg: Shut your mouth! I AM a she-witch. A very powerful she-witch. Or "witch" as is more accurate. I am not to be trifled with...
Andrew Wells: But I...
Willow Rosenberg: I'm talking, don't interrupt me, insignificant man! I am Willow, I am Death. If you dare defy me, I will call down my fury, exact fresh vengeance, and make your worst fears come true! Okay?
Buffy Summers: This trigger. How do we holster... safety, or... I, I don't know guns. How do we make it stop?
Xander Harris: Well, usually the operative completes his task and either blows his head off or steals a submarine.
Warren Meers: [as The First] You know the rules. I can't take corporeal form. Here. Feel.
Andrew Wells: [he passes his hand through Warren's chest] Cool!
Warren Meers: Pretty bitchin', right? I'm like Obi-Wan!
Andrew Wells: Or Patrick Swayze!
Buffy Summers: [Talking about Spike] He's been feasting on humans for weeks. He's having some pretty bad withdrawals. I think we need to get him some blood.
Willow Rosenberg: Do you want me to kill Anya?
Warren Meers: [as The First] That's the worst attempt at pig slaughtering I've ever seen!
Andrew Wells: Babe II: Pig in the City was really underrated.
Warren Meers: Don't think about Babe.
Andrew Wells: Right.
Warren Meers: You're Conan. You're The Destroyer. It's you against nature. You're the hunter, you're primal. You live off the land. You're Andrew. Everyone knows you. You play by your own rules. It's kill or be killed.
Andrew Wells: [like a battle cry] That'll do, pig!
Buffy Summers: [as The First] To be honest, I'm getting a little tired of subtle. I think it's about time we brought some authority to our presence. Now, Spike, you wanna see what a real vampire looks like?
Buffy Summers: It's not your fault. You're not the one doing this.
Spike: I already did it. It's already done. You wanna know what I've done to girls Dawn's age? This is me Buffy. You've got to kill me before I get out.
Buffy Summers: We can keep you locked up. Keep you here and we'll figure out...
Spike: Have you ever really asked yourself why you can't do it? Off me? After everything I've done to you, to people around you. It's not love. We both know that.
Buffy Summers: You fought by my side. You've saved lives, you've helped...
Spike: Don't do that. Don't rationalize this into some noble act. 'Cause we both know the truth of it. You like men who hurt you.
Buffy Summers: No.
Spike: You need the pain we cause you. You need the hate. You need it to do your job, to be the Slayer.
Buffy Summers: No. I don't hate like that. Not you, or myself. Not anymore.