- Angelus: If I decide to walk into Buffy's room, do you think for one microsecond that you can stop me?
- Xander Harris: Maybe not. Maybe that security guard couldn't either. Or those cops. Or the orderlies. But I'm kind of curious to find out. You game?
- Angelus: Buffy's white knight... You still love her.
- [leans toward Xander's ear]
- Angelus: It must just eat you up that I got there first.
- Xander Harris: You're gonna die. And I'm gonna be there.
- Angelus: Tell her I stopped by.
- Cordelia Chase: Nobody told me I was supposed to bring a gift. I was out of the *loop* on gifts.
- Rupert Giles: It's-It's traditional among, um... people.
- [Cordelia and Giles are looking at demons in books]
- Cordelia Chase: Eww! What does this do?
- Rupert Giles: What?
- Cordelia Chase: What does this do?
- Rupert Giles: Uh, it, uh, extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells.
- Cordelia Chase: Wow! What does this one do?
- Rupert Giles: Um, it-it elongates its mouth to, uh, engulf its victim's head with its incisors.
- Cordelia Chase: Ouch. Wait, what does this one do?
- Rupert Giles: [frustrated] It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.
- Cordelia Chase: Boy, there's a demon for everything.
- [first lines]
- Buffy Summers: [Buffy almost stakes Xander when he, Willow and Cordelia appear from around a crypt]
- Buffy Summers: Non-vampire, plus two.
- Willow Rosenberg: Hi.
- Xander Harris: Man, Buffy. My whole life just flashed before my eyes... I gotta get me a life.
- Xander Harris: Cordelia, someone's gotta watch her back.
- Cordelia Chase: Yeah, well, I've seen you watch her back.
- Xander Harris: What is that supposed to mean?
- Cordelia Chase: Well, it was using the phrase "watch her back" as a euphemism for looking at her butt.
- Xander Harris: You don't know how to kill this thing?
- Buffy Summers: I thought I might try violence.
- Xander Harris: Solid call.
- Xander Harris: Flowers for m'lady.
- Buffy Summers: I think they call those balloons.
- Xander Harris: Yeah, stick 'em in water, maybe they'll grow.
- Rupert Giles: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
- Cordelia Chase: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass.
- [bringing 'gifts' to Buffy while she is in the hospital]
- Willow Rosenberg: Not to be outdone.
- Buffy Summers: Homework?
- Willow Rosenberg: It's my way of saying "get well soon."
- Buffy Summers: You know, chocolate says that even better.
- Xander Harris: Finding out who this thing is takes priority. Cordy, you should go with Giles.
- Rupert Giles: Why do I have to have...
- [at look from her]
- Rupert Giles: ... Erm, good thinking.
- Willow Rosenberg: But how are you gonna fight this thing with a 107 degree temperature?
- Buffy Summers: I guess we'll find out.
- [uncorks the vial and is about to drink the contents]
- Willow Rosenberg: Buffy!
- Buffy Summers: Will, I'm going to do this.
- Willow Rosenberg: Buffy, that's 100 percent pure. It'll kill you in an instant.
- Buffy Summers: Oh... They really should put that on the label.
- [last lines]
- Joyce Summers: Oh, Buffy. Here. Um, this came in the mail.
- Buffy Summers: It's from Ryan.
- Joyce Summers: The boy from the hospital?
- [Buffy opens the letter and Joyce looks at it]
- Joyce Summers: Oh, he drew you a picture. How...
- [the picture shows a blonde girl standing over a dead, bloody monster]
- Joyce Summers: ...nice.
- Buffy Summers: I'll check Backer's office. See if I can find any post-its marked, "Why a monster might want me dead."