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"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Halloween (TV Episode 1997) Poster

(TV Series)

(1997)

Quotes

Xander Harris: We must have some kind of amnesia.

Buffy Summers: I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't have it. I bathe quite often.

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Buffy Summers: Tada. Just little old 20th-century me.

Angel: Sure you're okay?

Buffy Summers: I'll live.

Angel: I don't get it, Buffy. Why'd you think I'd like you better dressed that way?

Buffy Summers: I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.

Angel: Oh, ho.

Buffy Summers: What?

Angel: I hated the girls back then, especially the noble women.

Buffy Summers: You did?

Angel: They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone... exciting. Interesting.

Buffy Summers: Really? Interesting how?

Angel: You know how.

Buffy Summers: Still, I had a really hard day. You should probably tell me.

Angel: You're right. I should.

Buffy Summers: Definitely.

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Buffy Summers: [as Xander stalks off after she pulled Larry off him] I think I just violated the guy code big time.

Willow Rosenberg: Poor Xander. Boys are so fragile. Speaking of, how was your date last night?

Buffy Summers: Misfire. I was late due to unscheduled slayage. Showed up looking trashed.

Willow Rosenberg: Was he mad?

[Angel]

Buffy Summers: Actually he was pretty unmad. Which probably had something to do with the fact that Cordelia was drooling in his cappuccino.

Willow Rosenberg: Oh, Buffy. Angel would never fall for her act.

Buffy Summers: You mean that 'actually showing up, wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene' act?

Willow Rosenberg: You know what I mean. Uh, she's not his type.

Buffy Summers: Are you sure? I mean, I don't know what his type is. I've known him less than a year, and if you haven't noticed, he's not exactly one to over share.

Willow Rosenberg: True. It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.

Buffy Summers: Yeah, it's too bad. That is private stuff.

Willow Rosenberg: Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files.

Buffy Summers: Most importantly, it would be wrong.

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Willow Rosenberg: She couldn't have dressed up like Xena?

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Cordelia: Are you guys playing tonight?

Oz: Yeah, at the shelter club.

Cordelia: Is mister I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show-up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?

Oz: Yeah, you know, he's just going by 'Devon' now.

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Giles: Alright, let's-let's-let's review. Um, so everybody became whatever they were masquerading as.

Willow Rosenberg: Right. Xander was a soldier and Buffy was an eighteenth-century girl.

Giles: [staring at her rocker babe outfit] And-and your-your costume?

Willow Rosenberg: I'm a ghost.

Giles: Yes. Um, a-a - the ghost of what, exactly?

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Buffy Summers: [as her memory returns] Hi, honey, I'm home.

[beats up Spike]

Buffy Summers: You know what? It's good to be me.

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Cordelia: [charging into the bathroom] So, Buffy. You ran off last night and left poor little Angel all by his lonesome. But I did everything I could to comfort him.

Buffy Summers: [beat] I'll bet.

Cordelia: [as she touches up her make-up] So, what's his story anyway? I mean, I never see him around...

Willow Rosenberg: Not during the day, anyway.

Cordelia: [musing as she puts her make-up away] Oh, please. Don't tell me he still lives at home. Like, he has to wait for his dad to get back before he can take the car?

Buffy Summers: Cordelia, I think his parents have been dead for a couple of hundred years.

Cordelia: [finishes her lip gloss & faces them] Oh, good. I mean... What?

Buffy Summers: Angel's a vampire... I thought you knew.

Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire. Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a carebear with fangs?

Willow Rosenberg: [shrugs] It's true.

Cordelia: You know what I think?... I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever. But when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer.

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Willow Rosenberg: Okay. You guys stay here while I get some help. If something tries to get in, just fight it off.

Buffy Summers: Well, i-it's not our place to fight. Uh, surely some men will protect us.

Cordelia: [unsure she heard right] What's that riff?

Willow Rosenberg: I-it's like amnesia, okay? They don't know who they are.

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Drusilla: Do you love my insides, the parts you can't see?

Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.

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[Spike surveys the chaos caused on Halloween by Ethan Rayne's costume transformation spell]

Spike: Well, this is just... neat.

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[reacting to Willow who's trying to convince her she isn't a cat]

Cordelia: That's nice, Willow. And you went mental *when*?

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Larry Blaisdell: I heard some guy say she was fast.

Xander Harris: I hope you mean 'like the wind.'

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Giles: Hello, Ethan.

Ethan Rayne: Hello, Ripper.

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Xander Harris: We must have some kind of amnesia.

Buffy Summers: I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't have it. I bathe quite often!

Xander Harris: [about all the chaos] How do you explain this?

Buffy Summers: I don't! I was brought up a proper lady. I-I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me, possibly a Baron.

Xander Harris: This ain't no tea party, princess. Sooner or later you're gonna have to fight!

Buffy Summers: [real huffy] Fight these low creatures? I'd sooner die.

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Ethan Rayne: What? No hug? Aren't you pleased to see your old mate, Rupert?

Giles: I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne.

Ethan Rayne: [proudly] Yes, it does doesn't it? Don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but it's genius. The very embodiment of "Be careful what you wish for."

Giles: It's sick, brutal, and it harms the innocent.

Ethan Rayne: [sizing him up] Oh, and we all know that you are the champion of innocents and all things pure and good, Rupert. It's quite a little act you've got going here, old man.

Giles: It's no act... It's who I am.

Ethan Rayne: Who you are? The Watcher, sniveling, tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not. I know who you are, Rupert, and I know what you're capable of... But they don't, do they? They have no idea where you come from.

Giles: Break the spell, Ethan. Then leave this place and never come back.

Ethan Rayne: Why should I? What's in the bargain for me?

Giles: You get to live.

Ethan Rayne: [unserious] Oh Ripper. You're scaring me.

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Cordelia: Buffy, love the hair. It just screams 'street urchin'.

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Larry Blaisdell: You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?

Xander Harris: I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss.

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Xander Harris: A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life.

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Willow Rosenberg: Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz.

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Buffy Summers: [as an 18th century girl] A demon! A demon!

Willow Rosenberg: It's not a demon, it's a car.

Buffy Summers: What does it want?

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Cordelia: They don't know who they are, everyone's turned into a monster, it's a whole big thing. How are you?

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Drusilla: You know what I miss? Leeches.

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Buffy Summers: [looking at a picture of herself] This-this could be me.

Willow Rosenberg: It 'is' you, Buffy. Can't you remember at all?

Buffy Summers: No! I, I don't understand any of this! Uh, uh, th... This is some other girl!

[puts the picture down]

Buffy Summers: I would never wear this, that low apparel, and I don't like this place, and I don't like you, and I just wanna go home!

Willow Rosenberg: You 'are' home.

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Buffy Summers: It must have been wonderful. To put on some fantabulous gown and go to a ball like a princess. And have horses and servants and yet more gowns.

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Willow Rosenberg: [about trick-or-treat volunteers] Snyder must be in charge of the volunteer safety program for Halloween this year.

Xander Harris: [as Snyder 'pulls' kids to the table] Note his interesting take on the volunteer concept.

Buffy Summers: What's the deal?

[as they reach their lockers]

Xander Harris: Oh, a bunch of little kids need people to take them trick-or- treating. Sign up and get your own pack of sugar-hyped little runts for the night.

Buffy Summers: Yikes! I'll stick to vampires.

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Xander Harris: [about their costumes] I can't believe this. We have to get dressed up and the whole deal?

Willow Rosenberg: Snyder said costumes were mandatory.

Buffy Summers: Great. I was gonna stay in and veg. The one night a year things are supposed to be quiet for me.

Xander Harris: Halloween quiet? Oh, I figured it'd be a big old vamp scare- apalooza.

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Larry Blaisdell: [catching him] Harris!

Xander Harris: Hey, Lar. You're lookin' cro-mag as usual. What can I do you for?

Larry Blaisdell: You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?

Xander Harris: I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss.

Larry Blaisdell: So, she-she's not your girlfriend?

Xander Harris: Alas, no. Larry looks over at Buffy as he walks around Xander.

Larry Blaisdell: Do you think she'd go out with me?

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Drusilla: Do you love my insides, the parts you can't see?

Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. That's why I've got to study this Slayer. Once I know her I can kill her. And once I kill her you can have your run of Sunnyhell. Get strong again.

Drusilla: Don't worry. Everything's switching. Outside to inside.

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Willow Rosenberg: [as they change for trick-or-treating] Where're you meeting Angel?

Buffy Summers: Here, after trick-or-treating. Mom's gonna be out.

Willow Rosenberg: Does he know about your costume?

Buffy Summers: Nope! Call it a blast from his past. I'll show him I can coif with the best of 'em.

[to the bathroom door]

Buffy Summers: Okay, Willow, come out. You can't hide in there all night.

Willow Rosenberg: O-okay, but, but promise you won't laugh?

Buffy Summers: I promise.

[smiles as Willow shows her outfit of boots, black mini-skirt and a burgundy, halter top]

Buffy Summers: Wow! You're a dish!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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