- [to the trio after they are turned visible]
- Buffy Summers: So you three have, what... banded together to be pains in my ass?
- Warren Meers: We're your "arch-nemesises-ses."
- Spike: Uh, hey, Buffy's a great mom. She takes good care of her little sis Like, um, when Dawn was hanging out too much in my crypt, Buffy put a right stop to it.
- Doris Kroger: I'm sorry, did you say...
- Buffy Summers: Crib. Crib.
- [laughs]
- Buffy Summers: He said crib. You know kids today and their buggin' street slang.
- [Xander walks in on Spike and invisible Buffy]
- Xander Harris: Spike...? What are you doing?
- Xander Harris: What am I... What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I?
- [starts doing push-ups]
- Xander Harris: Exercising... naked... in bed?
- Spike: A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. You gotta keep fit for killing.
- Xander Harris: Yeah-huh.
- [Buffy is invisible]
- Xander Harris: Uh, sorry! Her clothes are, uh, invisible... too. Buffy, how did this hap... Wait a sec. Have you been feeling ignored lately?
- Buffy Summers: Yeah, ignored. I wish. No, this isn't a Marcie deal. I don't know what happened. I left Main Street after getting my hair cut and was...
- Anya: You cut your hair?
- Buffy Summers: Oh, yeah!
- Anya: Really? How short?
- Buffy Summers: Um, about up to here. Well-Well, if you could see my hand, it's kind of above my shoulders.
- Anya: Ahh, that sounds so adorable. I was thinking about getting my hair cut before the wedding.
- Xander Harris: Can we get back to freaking out about no-show Buffy? This is serious.
- [Social worker finds suspicious bag]
- Buffy Summers: You know, I know what that looks like, but I-I sw- I swear it's not what it looks like. It's magic weed. It's not mine.
- Doris Kroeger: There was a voice, before. It made my coffee dance. It told me to...
- Social Services Supervisor: To what?
- Doris Kroeger: Nothing.
- Social Services Supervisor: Doris... uh, take the rest of the day off. See your doctor.
- Doris Kroeger: W-What about my cases?
- Social Services Supervisor: We'll, uh, put someone else on them, and have them redo the Summers interview.
- Doris Kroeger: I'm not crazy. I am not crazy!
- Xander Harris: So, what have we found out so far?
- Willow Rosenberg: Take a look at that. Something sped outta here pretty damn quick to-to make that kind of tread mark.
- Xander Harris: Those could have been made anytime.
- Willow Rosenberg: Yeah, but this wasn't.
- [Willow gives Xander a little bottle]
- Xander Harris: What is it?
- Willow Rosenberg: Paint that I scraped off the fire hydrant.
- Xander Harris: What fire hydrant?
- [clashes his foot at something solid]
- Xander Harris: Ow!
- Willow Rosenberg: That one.
- Jonathan Levinson: Hey, we got a lot bigger problems here, bonehead. The Slayer's invisible now.
- Andrew Wells: He's right. She could be anywhere. Even here, right now. Watching, listening to every word we say. For all we know, she could be one of us.
- [all stare at each other suspiciously]
- Warren Meers: [snaps out of it] Oh!
- Andrew Wells: Oh, wait, no guys. That isn't true.
- [Buffy is invisible]
- Buffy Summers: It kind of fits the day I've had. Willow's still a wreck, Dawn's mad at both of us, and the Social Services lady put me through a wringer. Says she's gonna *watch* me. I'd like to see her try now.
- Jonathan Levinson: We're not killers. We're crime lords!
- Andrew Wells: Yeah, like-like Lex Luthor. He's always trying to take over Metropolis, but he doesn't kill Superman.
- Warren Meers: Because it's Superman's book, you moron!
- Andrew Wells: But, Lex doesn't kill him, does he?
- [to Buffy, who is threatening him with a kitchen implement]
- Spike: Uh, uh, uh, uh! This flapjack's not ready to be flipped.
- Jonathan Levinson: [Warren almost hits Jonathon with an invisibility gun] You penis!
- Warren Meers: Oh, cheer up, Frodo. Because, thanks to my brains and our mystical gem we got ourselves an invisibility ray. And I'd say that makes us pretty much unstoppable.
- Xander Harris: Hey, Buffy... Where... Where are you?
- Buffy Summers: At table four, apparently.
- Anya: Well, that remains to be seen, like you.
- Buffy Summers: Don't strain yourself looking, Xander. I'm Invisible Girl.
- [last lines]
- Willow Rosenberg: So I guess we both made good first steps.
- Buffy Summers: I guess.
- Willow Rosenberg: Yea for us.
- Buffy Summers: Yea.
- Xander Harris: Good Godfrey Cambridge, Spike! You still trying to mack on Buffy? Wake up already. Never gonna happen. Only a complete loser would *ever* hook up with you. Well, unless she's a simpleton like Harmony or a, or a nut sack like Druscilla.
- [first lines]
- Dawn Summers: Candles? We can't have candles?
- Buffy Summers: Dawn, it's a magic clearance. Everything must go.
- Dawn Summers: B-But they're just candles.
- Buffy Summers: Well, yeah, to you and me, they're just candles, but to witches, they're like bongs.
- Buffy Summers: Lame.
- Spike: What?
- Buffy Summers: You. Making up excuses.
- Spike: Don't flatter yourself, love. Bloody fond of that lighter.
- Buffy Summers: Stop trying to see me and stop calling me that.
- Spike: So, um, what should I call you then? Pet? Sweetheart? My, uh, little Goldilocks? You know I love this hair, the way it bounces when...
- [Buffy tries to hit him with a spatula]
- Spike: Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh! This flapjack's not ready to be flipped.