Professor Maggie Walsh: So, the Slayer!
Buffy: Yeah. That's me.
Professor Maggie Walsh: We thought you were a myth.
Buffy: Well, you were myth-taken
Giles: How did you know it was me?
Buffy: Your eyes. You're the only person in the world that can look that annoyed with me.
Riley Finn: I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse.
[despondent over being out of the loop on recent relevations, Giles stays behind in the crypt just in case the demon is about to show]
Giles: Oh, who am I kidding?
[Giles gets up and gathers his tools and weapons]
Giles: Nothing is going to happen.
[he leaves, closing the door to the crypt behind him]
Ethan Rayne: [stepping out of the shadows, monologuing] I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that at all. In fact, Ripper, old mate, I'd say something rather interesting was about to happen...
Giles: [opens door] Is someone...?
Ethan Rayne: [startled] Oh, bugger! I thought you'd gone.
Ethan Rayne: I've really got to learn to just do the damage and get out of town. It's the stay-'n'-gloat that gets me every time.
Spike: Why the hell are you suddenly a Fyarl demon? You just come over all demony this morning?
Giles: As a matter of fact, I did.
Xander Harris: You own nothing. This shouldn't be taking so long.
Spike: Hang on. Let a fella get organized.
[Spike starts grabbing things]
Xander Harris: That's my radio!
Spike: And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil.
Spike: And I'm supposed to just help you out of the evilness of my heart?
[as the Commando's take Ethan away]
Giles: [grins] If you don't mind, I'm just gonna go and watch them manhandle him into a vehicle.
Giles: [Demon Giles] If you can't find third gear, don't try for third gear.
Spike: I'm doin' my best. I don't know if I'm drivin' this thing or wearin' it.
Giles: [Demon Giles] It's perfectly serviceable.
Spike: [laughs] Funny hearing a Fyarl demon say "serviceable". Had a couple of 'em working for me once. They're more like, "Like to crush. Crush now?" Strong though. You won't meet a jar you can't open for the rest of your life.
[Giles growls menacingly]
Spike: [amused] What was that? Did you growl?
Giles: [primly] No.
Giles: You know what gets me? This is what gets me. Twenty years I've been fighting demons. Maggie Walsh and her nancy ninja boys come in; six months later, the demons are pissing themselves with fear. They never even noticed me.
Xander Harris: Okay, that's a giant vulture. I'd have mentioned if it was a giant vulture.
Buffy: [to Giles] Uh-oh, you have but-face.
[Giles looks confused]
Buffy: You look like you're gonna say 'but'.
Buffy: Look, if you've been fighting since you were fifteen, you'd have a hefty resume' too.
Riley Finn: Fifteen?
Buffy: I know "wow." The point is, that, we have different amounts of experience. You know. And plus I do have that whole preternatural experience.
Riley Finn: I've seen. Don't get me wrong. The girls I grew up with could hold their own. But... I'm not even sure I could take you.
Buffy: That all depends on your meaning.
Buffy: I like pancake 'cause they're stackable.
[looks at Willow's plate]
Buffy: Ooo, and waffles 'cause you can put things in the little holes if you wanted to.
Willow Rosenberg: [laughing] You should always have a new boyfriend. You're so much fun right now.
Professor Maggie Walsh: Oh, I'm, heh quite sure of that. And I'm just as sure that we can learn from each other. I'm working on getting you clearance to come into the Initiative. I think you'll find the results of our operation most impressive. Agent Finn here, has killed or captured - how many is it?
Riley Finn: [note of pride] Seventeen. Eleven vampires, six demons.
Buffy: Oh... Wow. I mean, that's... seventeen.
Professor Maggie Walsh: What about you?
Professor Maggie Walsh: How many hostilities would you say you've slain?
Ethan Rayne: We used to be friends, Ripper. When did all that fall apart?
Giles: The same time you started to worship chaos.
Ethan Rayne: Oh, religious intolerance. Sad, there. I mean, just look at the Irish Troubles.
Giles: [as a Fyarl Demon] It's me, Giles. Ethan has turned me into a demon and I need your help.
[Xander wakes up]
Giles: Hello, yes. It's me.
Xander Harris: [only hearing demon growling] Yaaaa!
Giles: Listen. Don't you understand me?
Xander Harris: Demon! Demon!
Riley Finn: You're really strong. Like, Spiderman strong.
Buffy: Yeah. But, I don't stick to stuff. But, yeah.
Giles: [drunk] What am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head.
Ethan Rayne: [suddenly sober] Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore, mate. When you went to the loo, I slipped a small pellet of poison in your drink, you'll be dead in an hour.
[Giles stares at him]
Ethan Rayne: Just kidding!
[they both laugh]
Giles: I'm gonna feel like hell in the morning.
Ethan Rayne: Relax. Enjoy the night. We're still a couple of sorcerers. The night is still our time.