Nicholas Parsons:
[
visually edited from a poem about a "trapped elephant"] Aren't we a bunch of fuckwits? An elephant could no more stick its trunk up its arse than we could lick our balls.
Chris Morris:
You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak.
[
pause, everyone shocked]
Chris Morris:
Thanks.
Chris Morris:
In Britain in the last century, it was quite acceptable for a gentleman to lose his virginity to one of London's many whore dogs. Dickens and Prince Albert both boasted of their experience.
Patrick Da Fronk:
The fox feels nothing. It's made of string.
Chris Morris:
Institutionalised cruelty is one thing, but the twisted brain-wrong of a one-off man-mental is quite another. Ted Maul disturbs.
Michael Van Wijk:
Urgent news - Karla has started to ingest her own head. Her dung pump mechanism has blown. There's bloody vegetable gas everywhere. For God's sake, help us pull her trunk out.
Michael Van Wijk:
[
referring to an elephant with its trunk lodged in its anus] She needs Wolf power or she will explode in a shower of pulped yams.
David Jatt:
This is the grave of a cow. As you will see, it was killed in unnecessary pain, by a man.
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