- Alan Shore: [Reading a book about sea lice that are threating the salmon population] Oh my God. This book? The Stain Upon the Sea? It's all about these sea lice.
- Denny Crane: Interesting.
- Alan Shore: They call them cling-ons.
- Denny Crane: Did you say Klingons?
- Shirley Schmidt: I make over a million dollars a year, and I'm in a basement looking for a dead midget.
- Judge Sean O'Byrne: I find it insulting to be lectured by an American about the environment.
- Denny Crane: Watch it, judge, we're a superpower. Don't make us add you to the Axis.
- Denny Crane: You're one of those environmental lawyers?
- Peter Barrett: Is there something wrong with that?
- Denny Crane: They're evildoers. Yesterday it's a tree, today it's a salmon, tomorrow it's, "Let's not dig up Alaska for oil because it's too pretty." Let me tell you something - I came out here to enjoy nature. Don't talk to me about the environment.
- Alan Shore: All reality, none of it scripted.
- Alan Shore: You still have a timeout. You just sit there.
- Denny Crane: We need to go to the woods and touch ourselves... get in touch with ourselves.
- Judge Harry Hingham: Mrs. Piper, you wish to address the court?
- Catherine Piper: Just... is it possible to request the Robert Blake jury?
- Alan Shore: Mindful that abroad, people expect shock and awe when Yankees arrive on the scene, we shall leave you with two small but lasting words...
- Denny Crane: Denny Crane, eh.
- Denny Crane: [Denny wakes up to find Alan in his bed] WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?
- Alan Shore: I don't know!
- Denny Crane: What do you mean you don't know?
- Alan Shore: I... got scared! I thought I heard a bear outside!
- Denny Crane: [Denny and Alan are out on the balcony at the end of the episode looking at a photograph] I shot my first steelhead!