Jason Alexander: Bob Patterson

Quotes 

• Bob Patterson : [desperate]  I don't want to be a naked guy!

• Bob Patterson : My Jacques wouldn't Cousteau!

• Bob Patterson : [referring to his habit of getting an erection whenever a woman speaks French]  My Gerard Depardieu'd!

• Bob Patterson : So, let me get this straight: You've managed to convince a bunch of geezers that are way past their prime to drop trow for some kind of coffee-table whoopee-book, and you want to know if I would like to be part of these disgusting perverts.

  Landau : I can see you're on the fence...

• Bob Patterson : Are we still hypothetical?

  Landau : No, now we're naked.

• Janet : Hey, Bob, great news - I got accepted into celebacy camp.

  Bob Patterson : How do you get rejected from celebacy camp?

• Bob Patterson : What kind of classes do they have a celebacy camp?

  Janet : Oh, let's see, there's... Keeping Your Legs Closed 101...

• Bob Patterson : I am not uptight, I am appropriate.

  Janet : Bob Patterson, you are the most repressed human being on this Earth. Do you know that in the seven years we were married, I can't ever remember seeing you naked.

  Jeffrey : Huh. Count your blessings.

  Bob Patterson : You're being ridiculous.

  Janet : Every night we'd get under the covers and there'd be twenty minutes of grunting and sweating and twisting and that was jsut you getting out of your robe!

  Bob Patterson : Well, excuse me for trying to be mysterious.

  Jeffrey : X-Files in mysterious - you're a head-job.

  Janet : All right, there's no mystery, okay? You are just ashamed of your body. That's why you wear a T-shirt when you go swimming.

  Bob Patterson : I don't like to go topless.

  Jeffrey : He says topless because he has boobs.

  Bob Patterson : Jeffrey, I do not have... boobs.

  Jeffrey : You can't even say "boobs" without getting all nervous. Doctor Tecnic says you're self-loathing.

  Bob Patterson : Does Doctor Tecnic ever discuss you in these sessions?

  Jeffrey : I can say boobs - no problem. Doctor Tecnic says that's amazing, considering...

  Jeffrey : Considering what? The fact that you've never seen any.

  [smirking like he got a zinger in] 

  Jeffrey : I've seen yours.