The Bob Newhart Show (TV Series)

By the Way... You're Fired (1974)

Richard Schaal: Don Livingston

Quotes 

• Don Livingston : [Carol's shown up at Bob and Emily's apartment, with her new boyfriend, Don, to celebrate Howard's 40th birthday. After having just been introduced to Bob and Emily - and mistakenly thinking Bob's Howard, Don, who fancies himself a kind of 'renaissance man', now gives his 'assessment' of the Hartley's apartment]  Well, this is a nice place you got here, Bob and Emily.

  Emily Hartley : [Don casually removes his top coat, and hands it, absent-mindlessly to Emily, as he's 'busy' staring at the 'architectural details' of the apartment]  Oh, thank you.

  Don Livingston : Wow. Ooh. I see. It's not just an apartment. This is a... home

  [Don says this attempting to sound prosaic, but, sounding pompous. Bob, Emily, and Carol are still on the top-step of the apartment, as Don 'takes in' everything] 

  Don Livingston : A place - where - at the end of a day, a man can slip into his smoking jacket, and say; 'this is what it's all for'.

  [Carol's beaming with pride, and turns to Bob, who's standing - arms crossed, and stone-faced, as Emily has a forced smile on] 

  Don Livingston : This is... a haven, a-a-a

  [Don dramatically searches for descriptive words] 

  Don Livingston : ... a f-f-fortress

  [Don balls his hand into a fist, for gravitas] 

  Don Livingston : It's a shelter against the 'sea of life'

  [Don's rolling his arm, lost in his thoughts. Then, his voice changes, to someone less 'scholarly'] 

  Don Livingston : How many johns you got?

  Emily Hartley : [Emily looks at Bob - who hasn't moved a muscle, then, back at Don. She holds up 2 fingers]  Two.

  [Emily smiles] 

  Don Livingston : [Don waves her away]  Perfect.

• Carol Kester : [Howard - the 'birthday boy' has just arrived, with Mary-Ellen]  Howard, I'd like you, and Mary-Ellen to meet a very good friend of mine, Don Livingston.

  [Don gets up, and shakes hands with Mary-Ellen, who just sat down] 

  Howard Borden : Hi, Don. How are you?

  Don Livingston : [Don takes Howard's hand, and starts to shake it]  Well; 40 years ago - they dragged you - kicking and screaming into a world you didn't even make. And today - you're soaring over it

  [as Don looks far off, he gestures with his hand] 

  Don Livingston : Well, Godspeed, and

  [salutes Howard] 

  Don Livingston : may the wind be at your tail.

  [Don smiles and nods] 

  Howard Borden : [Howard smiles, looks down, then looks into Don's face]  Wow, that was beautiful.

  Don Livingston : [Don gets the look an idea has just hit him]  Yeah, yeah! That wasn't bad

  [Don reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out a pencil and paper, and scribbles down what he's just said to Howard]