Lord Topper: [posing as the Comte de Frou Frou] Have no fear! Ze Scarlet Pimpernel will save us!
Edmund Blackadder, Esq, Butler to the Prince: Ha! Some hope. The Pimpernel is the most overrated human being since Judas Iscariot won the A.D. 31 Best Disciple Competition.
Edmund Blackadder, Esq, Butler to the Prince: Look, mate, me old mate... We're both working class; we both these rich b*stards; I mean, come on, come on, me old mucker, just, just let me go - you've got nothing against me...
Ambassador - Fearsome Revolutionary: On the contrarie! I you English with your boring trousers and your shiny toilet paper, and your ridiculous preconception that Frenchmen are great lovers...
[looks both ways, then speaks softly]
Ambassador - Fearsome Revolutionary: *I'm* French, and I'm hung like a baby carrot and a couple of petit-pois.
Baldrick: Yes, I shall certainly choose revolutionary France for my holiday again next year.
Blackadder: I was merely pointing out that sneaking aristocrats out from under the noses of French Revolutionaries is about as difficult as putting on a hat!
Blackadder: Farewell, dear master, and - dare I say it - friend.
Prince George: Farewell, brave liberator, and - dare I say it - butler.
Blackadder: His Royal Highness, the Pinhead of Wales, summons me. I feel almost well-disposed towards him this morning. Utter chump though he may be, at least he's not French.
Blackadder: If I don't make it back, please write to my mother and tell her I've been alive all the time. It's just that I couldn't be bothered to get in touch with the old bat.
[Referring to a suicide pill they have both been given, after being captured by French revolutionaries]
Baldrick: I'm glad to say you won't be needing that pill, Mr. B.
Blackadder: Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words "I have a cunning plan" marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?
Baldrick: They certainly are.
Blackadder: Well, forgive me if I don't do a cartwheel of joy; your record in this department is hardly 100%. So what is it?
Baldrick: We do nothing...
Blackadder: Yup, it's another world-beater.
Baldrick: No, wait. We do nothing... until our heads have actually been cut off.
Blackadder: And then we... spring into action?
Mrs. Miggins: Bonjour, Monsieur
Blackadder: Excuse me.
Mrs. Miggins: It's French.
Blackadder: So is eating frogs, cruelty to geese and urinating on the streets.
Blackadder: [to Baldrick] Unless I think of something, tomorrow we go to meet our Maker: in my case God, in your case God knows.
Mrs. Miggins: The Scarlet Pimpernel, Mr. Blackadder! He's so exciting, don't you think?
Blackadder: Actually, I think he's the most over-rated human being since Judas Iscariot won the AD31 Best Disciple Competition.
Blackadder: We hate the French! We fight wars against the French! Did all those men die in vain on the fields of Agincourt? Was the man who burned Joan of Arc just wasting good matches?
Blackadder: Stick the kettle on, Baldrick
Baldrick: What? Aren't we going to France?
Blackadder: Of course we're not going to France! It's incredibly dangerous!
Baldrick: Well, how you gonna win your bet?
Blackadder: Simple, Baldrick. By the use of the large thing between my ears.
Baldrick: Ohhh. Your nose.