Blackadder II (TV Series)

Money (1986)

Tim McInnerny: Lord Percy

Quotes 

• Lord Percy Percy : I've done it, my Lord! I've discovered how to turn things into gold! Pure gold!

  Blackadder : You have? Show me!

  Lord Percy Percy : [takes lid off melting pot, and Baldrick, Percy and Blackadder are bathed in a green glow]  Behold!

  Blackadder : Percy... it's green.

  Lord Percy Percy : Yes, my Lord!

  Blackadder : Now, look, Percy, I don't mean to be pedantic or anything, but the color of gold... is gold. That's why it's called gold. What YOU have discovered, if it has a name, is some... Green.

  Lord Percy Percy : [removes lump of Green from pot]  Oh, Edmund... can it be true? That I hold here, in my mortal hand, a nugget of purest Green?

  Lord Percy Percy : Yes indeed, Percy, except that it's not really a nugget but more of a splat.

  Blackadder : Yes, my Lord. A splat today, but tomorrow, who knows, or dares to dream...

• Blackadder : This place smells worse than a pair of armored trousers after the Hundred Year War. Baldrick! Have you been eating dung again?

  Lord Percy : My Lord! I have waited on your return!

  [Percy hugs Blackadder] 

  Blackadder : And thank God you did, Percy, for I was just thinking to myself, "My God, I die in 12 hours, what I really need now is a hug from a complete prat."

  Lord Percy : After literally an hour's ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold, pure gold.

  Blackadder : Are you sure?

  Lord Percy : Yes, my lord. Behold.

  Blackadder : Percy... it's green.

  Lord Percy : That's right, my lord.

  Blackadder : Yes, Percy, I don't want to be pedantic or anything, but the colour of gold is gold. That's why it's *called* gold. What you have discovered, if it has a name, is "green".

  Lord Percy : Oh, Edmund, can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand a nugget of purest green?

  Blackadder : Indeed you do, Percy, except, of course, it's not really a nugget, it's more of a splat.

  Lord Percy : Well, yes, a splat today... but tomorrow - who knows, or dares to dream?

  Blackadder : So we three alone in all the world can produce the finest green at will?

  Lord Percy : Just so. Not sure about counting in Baldrick, actually.

• Lord Percy : My Lord. I have waited on your return.

  [hugs Blackadder] 

  Blackadder : And thank God you did Percy, for I was just thinking to myself: "My God, I die in 12 hours, what I really need now is a hug from a complete prat.'