Bernard: You can find work and sort your life out anytime. The pub closes in five hours.
Bernard: I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all.
Fran: So *you're* the one who can't read, hmm? Sit down.
Danny Spudge: What?
Fran: I *said* sit down. And you can take that stupid look off your big head. Now. We've drawn an 'A', haven't we. What is it?
Danny Spudge: It's an 'A'. I wanna go to the toilet.
Fran: Shut up. Not until you can read this. Nibbly Pig got on a bus.
Manny: [hiding with Bernard] She's playing with fire. He's not ready for Nibbly Pig.
Manny: Sales manager in a large department store.
Fran: Too busy.
Manny: Beautician on a cruise liner.
Fran: Too boaty.
Fran: [Fran has been asked to give a presentation to the Board but has no idea what about] Well, well, well. Why are we here? What's it all about?
[draws circle on flipchart]
Fran: Ask yourselves this. Is this A. effective and B. productive?
[draws dot in middle of circle]
Fran: Are we
Fran: or are we not
Fran: a company?
[board stands and applauds]
Manny: Oh, hello Gus. Long time no speaky. Oh. When did you get out?
Danny Spudge: It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
Bernard: He's a midget. A tiny midget.
Manny: What if he overheard?
Bernard: He won't. His ears are too small.
Bernard: Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.