When Edmund loses his title of Duke of Edinburgh, he snaps, fires Baldrick and Percy and hires some of the most cruel men in England; Sir Wilfred Death, Three-Fingered Pete, Guy de Glastonbury, Sean the Irish Bastard, Friar Bellows and Jack Large to help him take over the kingdom. Written by
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Percy, you are dismissed from my services.
Because Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, you would bore the leggings off a village idiot. You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would. Your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly. And the part of you that can't be mentioned, I am reliably informed by women around the court, wouldn't be worth mentioning even if it could be. If you put on a floppy hat and a furry cod-piece, you might...