Jaime Sommers: Oscar look, before I put on this sash and go in there and make a fool out of myself, why don't you call this agent and make sure he wasn't joking, I mean this is a pretty silly message.
Oscar Goldman: I can't do that.
Jaime Sommers: Why?
Oscar Goldman: They found this agent this morning. Face down in the river Seine.
Jaime Sommers: Snorkeling?
Oscar Goldman: Dead.
Jaime Sommers: Hi, I'm Jaime Sommers.
Sally Bartell, Miss Florida: Miss California, you're the replacement, aren't ya?
Jaime Sommers: Yeah. Second string. We can still be friends, huh?
Sally Bartell, Miss Florida: Friends? There's no miss Congeniality award in this contest, honey.
Jaime Sommers: Well, I...
Sally Bartell, Miss Florida: Look, every girl here wants that crown badly. You're not gonna make friends, just friendly enemies.
Brady, Stage Manager: [about Jaime] She was talking on an outside line to somebody called Oscar. There's an Oscar Goldman, you know, who works for the OSI.
Ray Raymond: There's also an Oscar Mayer who makes weiners. Probably just a boyfriend.
Brady, Stage Manager: [Helen has been caught using an outside line] Who were you talking to? Oscar who?
Helen Elgin: Oscar Lipschitz, he's an old beau of mine from college, whenever I'm in his area I always call him up, and...
Jaime Sommers: [about to start the swimsuit competition] I feel like a side of beef, how do I look?
Helen Elgin: Terrific.
Jaime Sommers: You know I really liked my old legs better. I think they were better.
Ray Raymond: You feeling better, Miss California?
Jaime Sommers: Yes, I needed a rest. You know, the excitement of all of this kinda snuck up and grabbed me from behind.
Jaime Sommers: Anyway the proverb is: as the queen flies to Paris on her falcon, so must we continue the search for our goals.
Ray Raymond: This doesn't make sense.
Jaime Sommers: I certainly hope it does to someone.