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(TV Series)

(1984)

Quotes

P.C. Carver: [Carver is doing a crossword puzzle] What's a big bird, 5 and 3 ending in T?

W.P.C. Ackland: Er... tit.

P.C. Carver: Eh?

W.P.C. Ackland: Grey tit. Well don't you normally associate that with birds?

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Sgt. Cryer: [At Lord Barstow-Smythe's residence] What took you so long?

Det. Insp. Galloway: Litten. He's a lousy driver.

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P.C. Edwards: [Litten is typing up a report on Lord Barstow-Smythe's stolen necklace before Edwards enters the room] How's it going with the superstars then?

P.C. Litten: What do you want?

P.C. Edwards: There's a rather nice young lady at the front desk. Says she want's to see the man in charge. Now I told her that Clouseau had gone home I did, but his assistant I said, he's something else and your in luck, because he's working late.

P.C. Litten: [Litten sticks two fingers up at Edwards and Edwards chuckles. Stressed, Litten scrunches up the piece of paper and throws it] Ah, shit!

P.C. Edwards: Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. You'll soon be back on the beat, boy.

[Edwards picks up the scrunched up piece of paper that Litten threw and puts it in the bin before leaving the room]

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P.C. Litten: How do you spell that then, guv?

Lord Barstow-Smythe: Spell what?

P.C. Litten: Objet, whatchamacallit?

Lord Barstow-Smythe: Objet d'art.

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P.C. Carver: [to Litten, after seeing Galloway] What's up with him?

P.C. Litten: Indigestion. Always the same after he's had a big meal.

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P.C. Litten: [takes a packet of cigarettes from a cigarette vending machine, and looks at it] Blimey. If my mum sees that, she'll kill me.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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