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"Bewitched" I, Darrin, Take This Witch, Samantha (TV Episode 1964) Poster

Quotes

Darrin Stephens: You're a what?

Samantha: I'm a witch!

Darrin Stephens: That's wonderful. We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Samantha: Now! I am a witch. A real broom-riding, house-haunting, cauldron-stirring witch.

Darrin Stephens: It MUST be the champagne. Now, darling, it's been a hectic day for both of us. This getting married is tougher than it looks.

Samantha: Would I say I am a witch if I'm not?

Darrin Stephens: I don't know. I have an aunt who thinks she's a lighthouse. Whenever it rains she insists on climbing up on the garage roof to warn the sailors.

Samantha: How do you know she isn't a lighthouse?

Darrin Stephens: Huh?

Samantha: Maybe you were the one who was looking straight at a lighthouse and thought you were seeing an old lady on a garage roof.

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[first lines]

Narrator: [narrating voice over] Once upon a time, there was a typical American girl, who happened to bump into a typical red blooded American boy. And she bumped into him, and bumped into him. So, they decided they'd better sit down and talk this over before they had an accident. They became good friends. They found they had a lot of interests in common. Radio. Television. Trains. And when the boy found the girl attractive, desirable, irresistible, he did what any red-blooded American boy would do: He asked her to marry him. They had a typical wedding. Went on a typical honeymoon, in a typical bridal suite. Except, it so happens that this girl is a witch.

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Darrin Stephens: [Samantha and Darrin on their honeymoon] I wish I had a drink.

[drink appears in his hand]

Darrin Stephens: ... an Old Fashioned?

[an Old Fashioned drink appears]

Darrin Stephens: ... and a straw?

[straw appears in drink]

Darrin Stephens: You're a witch?

Samantha: That's what I've been trying to tell you.

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[last lines]

Samantha: [after making her dirty dishes disappear] Maybe I can taper off.

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Samantha: He's a dear, sweet, wonderful, perfectly marvelous man.

Endora: Oh, my poor baby. He sounds simply horrible.

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Darrin Stephens: I have an aunt who thinks she's a lighthouse. And whenever it rains, she insists on climbing on the garage roof to warn the sailors.

Samantha: How do you know she isn't a lighthouse?

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Samantha: One Re, Or Re, Ickery Ann, Phillison, Follison, Nicholas John.

Endora: You are kidding?

Samantha: I've never been more serious in my life. One Re, Or Re, Ickery Ann, Phillison, Follison, Nicholas John. Queevy quavy English Navy, Stickum, stackum Buck! B-U-C-K spells 'Buck' and out goes you!

Endora: Well, you naughty, naughty little witch!

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Darrin Stephens: You're a what?

Samantha: I'm a witch.

Darrin Stephens: That's wonderful. We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Samantha: Now. I am a witch. A real house-haunting, broom-riding, cauldron-stirring witch.

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Darrin Stephens: I'm married to a witch. A real live house-haunting, broom-riding, cauldron-stirring, card-carrying witch.

Doctor Koblin: You came to me for advise. I'll give you some. Now that you've had your honeymoon, why don't you take a vacation?

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Samantha: [after Sheila is sent up stairs] The soup really is delicious. As soon as Sheila gets down, I must get the recipe. It's good. It really is.

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Narrator: [Samantha smiles caressing her wedding ring] Every young girl needs love and romance.

[Thunder at the window. Samantha looks angrily there]

Narrator: There's one thing she doesn't need...

Samantha: [Endora appears] Mother!

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Endora: How would you like to spend your wedding night with a bull frog?

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Darrin Stephens: Al, my wife is witch.

Bartender: Cheer up. You should see my wife.

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Darrin Stephens: Sam, I'm not saying you were entirely wrong. Sheila had it coming, but you went a little too far.

Samantha: For a while there, it was kind of hard to tell which witch was which.

Darrin Stephens: Sam.

Samantha: Just a little play on words.

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Darrin Stephens: I'm only trying to say that you broke your promise. You gave me your word. No more...

Samantha: Stuff? It's harder to break the habit than I thought.

Darrin Stephens: Well you can do it. I've got a lot of faith in you. Oh, thank you darling.

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Darrin Stephens: So my wife's a witch. Every married man has to make some adjustment.

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Sheila Summers: Darrin, darling. Is this your little bride?

Samantha: How do you do?

Sheila Summers: Why, Darrin, she's sweet.

Samantha: Uh maybe I should have dressed...

Sheila Summers: [smirking] Oh not at all, dear. You look... sweet. John, would you take Mrs. Stephens...

Samantha: Sweater.

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Sheila Summers: [shouting across the dinner table] Do you know Dr. Hafter, dear. Samantha?

Samantha: Beg your pardon?

Sheila Summers: Dr. Hafter, do you know him?

Samantha: No.

Sheila Summers: The plastic surgeon, does beautiful nose work.

Samantha: No, I don't know him.

Sheila Summers: Funny, I could have sworn...

Samantha: [Under her breath] I won't do it.

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Darrin Stephens: [to Samantha] I have yet to see a table lighter that works. Just once I'd like to see...

[Samantha magically lights the lighter]

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Darrin Stephens: Well, it's bedtime.

Samantha: I've just got to get this kitchen cleaned up.

Darrin Stephens: Tomorrow.

Samantha: That's what you said last night.

Darrin Stephens: Yeah. Well... Don't take too long.

Samantha: Oh, well.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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