- Jason Detweiler: I feel it only fair to warn you that I used to run cross-country for Pennsylvania Teachers.
- Daisy Moses: Oh, a woman chaser, huh?
- Daisy Moses: [Mrs. Drysdale is helping Mr. Drysdale with a leg cramp] She's gonna grab that other leg of his and make a wishbone out of him.
- Jed Clampett: Maybe it's some sort of a game, Granny.
- Daisy Moses: Well if it is, there's gonna be an undertaker keepin' score.
- Jason Detweiler: Pretty fast are you?
- Milburn Drysdale: Well, my secretary constantly compares me with the fastest of all animals.
- Jason Detweiler: The cheetah?
- Milburn Drysdale: That's what she calls me.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Always thinking of yourself Milburn! Why couldn't you collapse on the walk? You know those grass stains won't come out.
- Elly May Clampett: Granny, it's for your health. Why Mr. Drysdale says it lowers your kesterol.
- Jethro Bodine: That's cholester oil.
- Daisy Moses: Well it lowered his till it was draggin'.
- Jethro Bodine: Uncle Jed, they's quit the Beverly Hills club and joined ours.
- Elly May Clampett: They seen us joggin', and started followin' us for some reason.
- [the men are all looking at Elly]
- Elly May Clampett: How do you like my joggin' outfit?
- Jed Clampett: That's real cute, Elly, but you're showin' more meat than a butcher's window.