The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

The Clampetts Go Fishing (1964)

Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jed Clampett : Granny, me and ol' Duke here is plumb tuckered out. We walked clean over to the golf pasture lookin' fer some game.

  Daisy Moses : What'd you git?

  Jed Clampett : We got mean-mouthed and stick-chased outta there.

  Daisy Moses : You mean you come home with nuthin', empty-handed?

  Jed Clampett : Well we did manage to find a few of them golf eggs.

  Daisy Moses : Throw 'em out, Jed. They just can't be cooked. I boiled 'em and poached 'em and fried 'em and they still come out gummy as an old boot.

• Jed Clampett : Well it looks like we is caught betwixt and between, Granny. Folks don't want me shootin' a gun and when I snare the game, Elly makes a pet out of it.

• Elly May Clampett : It's a baby walrus. Ain't he cute, Pa? Can I take him home?

  Jed Clampett : Hadn't better, Elly. He'd remind Granny too much of Lafe Crick.

• Daisy Moses : [Jethro reels in a boot]  Elly, fetch my pole, quick!

  Jed Clampett : What fer? This ain't nothin' but a boot.

  Daisy Moses : I know it. I wanna fish fer the other one. They're better'n the ones I'm wearin'.

• Daisy Moses : [Granny is trying to cook the fish trophy]  When you gonna commence to tenderin' up, you wall-eyed ocean-goin' varmint?

  Jed Clampett : You cookin' that fish?

  Daisy Moses : I ain't givin' him a bath.

  Jed Clampett : He said he already been prepared by experts, somethin' or other...

  Daisy Moses : Taxi driver.

  Jed Clampett : That sounds like it, yeah.

  Daisy Moses : He better stick to drivin'' taxis. He don't know shucks about fish. I've been boilin' this rascal for 2 hours and he's still as tough as harness leather.

• Jed Clampett : I reckon it'd hurt Mr. Drysdale's feelin's considerable if he was to find out we didn't eat his fish.

  Jethro Bodine : But Uncle Jed, I purt near broke a tooth on that thing.

  Daisy Moses : If Jethro can't bite through it, nobody can.

• Jed Clampett : You know any good fishin' bridges, Jethro?

  Jethro Bodine : Only bridge I know goes over the Los Angeles river.

  Daisy Moses : Ain't nothin' like a river for catfish. Let's get goin'.

  Jethro Bodine : Wasn't much water in it last time we was there.

  Jed Clampett : Maybe the beavers had it dammed up.

  Elly May Clampett : If'n they still there, can I bring home a beaver?