The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)
Jethro Returns (1971)
Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett
Photos
Quotes
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Jed Clampett : Say, what happened to the truck the boy was drivin'?
Officer Massey : Oh, we had to impound it.
Jed Clampett : Well that's alright. Truck's taken a beatin' before.
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Milburn Drysdale : You know, I'm responsible for bringing Robert and Elly together.
Jed Clampett : Is that a fact?
Daisy Moses : Bless you, Mr. Drysdale.
Milburn Drysdale : Yes, I could see immediately that theirs would be a perfect union.
Daisy Moses : Perfect what?
Milburn Drysdale : Union.
Daisy Moses : You mean confederacy!
Milburn Drysdale : I stand corrected.
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Daisy Moses : The greatest speech that was ever spoke was spoked in Gettysburg by the greatest president of them all, Jefferson Davis.
Milburn Drysdale : No Granny. That was Abraham Lincoln.
Daisy Moses : That's two boners in a row for you!
Jed Clampett : Now Granny, don't get riled.
Daisy Moses : Well he better watch his Yankee tongue.
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Jed Clampett : My bucket of mortar, it's gone!
Daisy Moses : Jethro must have thought it was grits. He'll eat it.
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Jed Clampett : How's Jethro?
Daisy Moses : Oh, he'll recover. The operation was a success.
Jed Clampett : Oh, you operated?
Daisy Moses : Took out 10 pounds of mortar.
Jed Clampett : Had to cut him open, huh?
Daisy Moses : No. I just reached down his gullet and pulled it out. First, I had to beat on his belly a little to bust it up.