"The Beverly Hillbillies" Collard Greens An' Fatback (TV Episode 1969) - Buddy Ebsen as Jed Clampett

Daisy Moses : Will you guard my pot for me?

Jed Clampett : Why, sure. But it ain't likely any critter would bother boilin' greens.

Daisy Moses : There's one that will and he's been sittin' up in the tree for the last 3 hours, waitin' for me to go into the house so he can swoop down.

Jed Clampett : Sounds like a buzzard.

Daisy Moses : You're close. It's the 10-toed, black-tufted vittles-snatcher.

[points to Jethro in the tree]
Daisy Moses : Quick, hide the bear!

Jed Clampett : Granny, you don't quick hide a 500-pound bear.
Daisy Moses : You're early, Mr. Policeman. We ain't goin' to be eatin' till sundown.

Policeman : You can't build an open fire in Beverly Hills.

Daisy Moses : Oh, sure you can. All you need is seasoned wood.

Policeman : What I mean is...

[sees Pat Boone]

Policeman : Wait a minute, aren't you Pat Boone? Sure you are. I've got you latest record.

Jed Clampett : Boy's got a record?

Policeman : Sure, a bunch of them. Haven't you seen his picture?

Jed Clampett : No, we don't get down to the Post Office much.
Jed Clampett : Who's this young feller?

Daisy Moses : His name is Pat Boone, Jed. He smelled my collards cookin' and come a-runnin'.

Jed Clampett : Well, glad to have you, son. Where you from?

Pat Boone : Tennessee.

Jed Clampett : By doggies, I've known Granny's collards to pull 'em in from a long way off, but this is a new record.

Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett