- Professor Jake Macklin: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Professor Macklin's introduction to Sexual Manipulation.
- Richard Thorne III: Isn't sex always about manipulation?
- Natalie Dykstra: [sarcastically] Gee, that's romantic.
- Richard Thorne III: Realistic.
- Professor Jake Macklin: And that is a little sad, Richard.
- Richard Thorne III: Sad? Sad how?
- Professor Jake Macklin: Your use of the word 'always'.
- Sara Gregory: My problem in the past: I thought I could get anything I needed from one man. Now I know - niche dating is the key to happiness.
- Owen Gregory: Niche dating?
- Sara Gregory: Yeah.
- Owen Gregory: How come when I do that, you call it whoring around?
- Owen Gregory: [to Natalie] Well, thank you for showing me all of this. It's really spectacular, all of this... urine. In one place.
- Owen Gregory: So what's your name?
- Erin Kavenaugh: You wanna know my name?
- Owen Gregory: For the forms.
- Erin Kavenaugh: I'm Erin. That's Irish for Irish. What's yours?
- Owen Gregory: I'm Owen. That's Owen for Owen.
- Professor Jake Macklin: The degrading system in my class is completely subjective. Let's say that I give Richard a low grade based on a completely honest devaluation of his work. But he thinks I'm doing it because I'm jealous.
- Professor Carla Bonatelle: Are you?
- Professor Jake Macklin: No, but what if he thinks that I am? Or what if he's dating Katrina in order to make me overcompensate, give him a higher grade than he actually deserves?
- Professor Carla Bonatelle: What if they just like each other?
- Professor Jake Macklin: ...like each other?
- Natalie Dykstra: Funny how Donald Rumsfeld looks a lot more cuddly made of pasta.
- Zoe Lopez: There's something less frightening about him.
- Owen Gregory: Mm. Let's face it, you put some cheese on this guy, and he's gonna run yummy.