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(TV Series)

(1995)

Quotes

Mitch Buchannon: [voice-over] The difference between being a lifeguard and a private eye is that a lifeguard has to spot trouble and respond. Private eye gets hired by someone who's already in trouble. Either way, a stranger's life is suddenly in your hands. Unfortunately, private eyes can't always spot the victims as easily as lifeguards.

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Garner Ellerbee: [Willie Logan has just exited the office after hiring the firm to find his "dad." He's lied about his mother] Huh. She's sick. In bed.

Ryan McBride: At Auntie Em's house.

Mitch Buchannon: This isn't Kansas, Toto.

Garner Ellerbee: Hurry on down to Merv's Car Town, one oh five...

Ryan McBride: South Firestone, yeah. What's the deal?

Garner Ellerbee: Bogus little booger.

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Ryan McBride: [as they chase Willie] Don't let him get away!

Mitch Buchannon: I'm not letting him, he's doing it all by himself!

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Ryan McBride: [She and Mitch pause before leaving the Child Protective Services office] You know, may I just...

Mitch Buchannon: Be my guest.

Ryan McBride: hank you.

[They turn back to Miss Belda, the CPS agent]

Ryan McBride: The child is not just a burdensome case file, nor is he troublesome. He's just a scared little boy that got lost in a bad shuffle. And he, along with everyone else on the planet, except for you, wants to be loved by everybody else. Am I done?

Mitch Buchannon: Doesn't feel like it.

Ryan McBride: Mm. You, Miss Belda, are a sourpussed, constipated, and I hope that is your only excuse for acting like this, butthead.

Mitch Buchannon: There. All done.

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Mitch Buchannon: [searching a dark tunnel for Ryan and Willie] Flashlights always remind me of that movie, E.T. Remember? The guy with the keys in the woods?

Garner Ellerbee: Ugh, don't talk about movies.

Mitch Buchannon: Why not?

Garner Ellerbee: 'Cause I just saw Jurassic Park. Scared me to death.

Mitch Buchannon: Jurassic Park's not a scary movie. Invasion of the Body Snatchers, that's a scary movie.

Garner Ellerbee: Will you stop talking about scary movies?

Mitch Buchannon: What are you, scared?

Garner Ellerbee: I'm not scared. I'm trying to focus on a calm place, a babbling brook, a park or something.

Mitch Buchannon: Jurassic Park.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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