The New Batman Adventures (TV Series)

Mean Seasons (1998)

Kevin Conroy: Batman, Bruce Wayne, Husband

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after Calendar Girl is caught, a police officer pulls off her mask] 

  Calendar Girl : NO! DON'T LOOK AT ME!

  [She writhes around, trying to hide her face. Batman and Batgirl are watching from above] 

  Batgirl : But... she's beautiful.

  Batman : She can't see that now. All she can see are the flaws.

• Alfred Pennyworth : Some people! Excuse me, sir, there's a van blocking both of the passenger loading spaces.

  Bruce Wayne : It's just as well, Alfred. I'm gonna have to be dropped off someplace a little more... private.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Understood, sir.

• Zaltig Lady : Isn't it lovely? I've got to buy one.

  Husband : For who?

  [She hits him] 

  Husband : What did I do?

• Batman : [watching a commercial featuring Paige Monroe]  Pretty girl.

  Batgirl : Don't you mean "woman"? She was your age when she made that commercial, Bat-Boy.

• Irv Kleinman : What is this? Costumes are down the hall.

  Batman : I have a few questions for you.

  Irv Kleinman : Get lost! Can't you see I'm in a meeting?

  Batman : [grabbing him and pushing him against the wall]  Meeting's been canceled.

  Batgirl : [to the wannabe starlet on his casting couch]  I'd run if I were you.

• Batgirl : Here's all the news items from both August 7 and April 3 dating back ten years.

  Batman : Make it twenty.

  Batgirl : My, we're being thorough today. Okay, now I'm cross-referencing Donna Day Fashions and Gotham Motors for any common names, places, events.

  [a light on the display blinks] 

  Batgirl : Ta-da!

  Batman : Who is she? She looks... familiar.

  Batgirl : She should. Page Monroe. Her face was just about everywhere for a few years. She used to be a spokesmodel for a number of major companies, including...

  Batman : Let me guess. Gotham Motors and Donna Day.

  Batgirl : Right. Until both companies announced they were dropping her in favor of a new youth-oriented campaign.

  Batman : On April 3 and August 7.

• Batman : Page Monroe.

  Irv Kleinman : Page? I used to be her agent. What about her?

  Batman : What happened to her?

  Irv Kleinman : She turned 30. What are you gonna do?

  Batgirl : So you just dumped her?

  Irv Kleinman : Hey, look, I tried to help her. After the modeling dried up, I got her a lead in a sitcom. But it never flew. The network wanted younger demographics.

  Batman : Where is she now?

  Irv Kleinman : Dropped out of sight. But there were rumors. You know, the surgeon nipped when he should have tucked.

• Lucius Fox : And I'll leave you with the latest spec designs from Wayne Motors. If you want, call me tonight after the auto show.

  Bruce Wayne : Auto show. Right.

  Lucius Fox : [leaving, he turns back]  By the way, I'm supposed to remind you about Bernie Benson's retirement dinner. It's this Friday.

  Bruce Wayne : Bernie's retiring? Why?

  Lucius Fox : He's 65, Bruce. That's our mandatory retirement age.

  Bruce Wayne : I thought he was younger.

  Lucius Fox : Well, sooner or later, we all start touching up the gray.

• Bruce Wayne : I'm afraid I won't be able to attend your retirement dinner, Bernie.

  Bernie Benson : I understand, sir. You're very busy.

  Bruce Wayne : Actually, I've decided to cancel it.

  Bernie Benson : Cancel?

  Bruce Wayne : I'm changing the retirement policy. You can work here for as long as you can do the job.

  Bernie Benson : [pulling off his gray-haired wig]  Yes!

• Batman : Let her go.

  Calendar Girl : I have no quarrel with her. She's just another tragic victim. I have what I came for.