The Joker: Hi-ho couch potatoes. I'm interrupting the Toilet Bowl to bring you my very special New Year's resolution: ahem, starting tonight at midnight, I, your loving uncle Joker, do solemnly vow not to kill anyone for a whole year. Which means I'm going to have to work extra fast to bump off a few more of you today.
[Bruce Wayne backs up and falls down an open elevator shaft]
Harley Quinn: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! We-we killed him!... Oh well.
Poison Ivy: We were going to do it anyway.
Harley Quinn: We got his credit cards; what's to worry?
Little Boy: [Bullock is doing undercover as a mall Santa] You're not the real Santy Claus.
Detective Harvey Bullock: Sure I am. Wanna see my gun?
Harley Quinn: I'm depressed, Red. Here it is holiday time and we're hiding out in this dingy rat trap. No presents, no fun, no nothin'. Can't we at least get a Christmas tree?
Poison Ivy: What? And support the mad campaign of botanical genocide that grips this country every December?
Harley Quinn: But Christmas trees are so bright and fun and pretty. Oh, please? Please? Please? Please?
Batgirl: Don't waste your ammo on him. Shoot the Santa.
Detective Harvey Bullock: You wouldn't?
Det. Renee Montoya: Not you dolt, That Santa!
Commissioner James Gordon: One of these years, I'm going to beat him to the check.
Commissioner James Gordon: Close one this time.
Batman: They're all close ones.
Commissioner James Gordon: [giving a toast] Well, here's to survival. Hopefully, we'll be doing this again next New Year's Eve.