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"The Batman" The Bat in the Belfry (TV Episode 2004) Poster

(TV Series)

(2004)

Quotes

Arkham Orderly: Steiner, check. McSwain, check. 2-23 vacant.

[the orderly sees a figure with green hair in cell 2-23]

Arkham Orderly: Hey. No-one logged any new arrivals.

[He opens the cell door]

Arkham Orderly: Whoa! What are you doing in here? What the...?

[the figure also has white feet, yellow teeth and red eyes]

The Joker: I was feeling a bit screwloose, so I checked myself in.

Arkham Orderly: Who? Who are you?

The Joker: [pulls out a playing card from his long sleeve] My card.

[He cackles maniacally]

Arkham Orderly: No. No, no, no!

[the figure sprays green gas at the orderly]

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The Joker: Stop me if you've heard this one: Two fellows in an abandoned party favor factory. One says to the other...

Batman: Where are you keeping the gas, Joker?

The Joker: You call that a punch line?

Batman: I don't share your sense of humor.

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The Joker: Stop me if you've heard this one, Batman: Two fellows in an abandoned party favor factory. One says to the other...

Batman: Where are you keeping the gas, Joker?

The Joker: You call that a punch line?

Batman: I don't share your sense of humour.

The Joker: Yet we're linked, you and I. Like comedy and tragedy. Two sides, same coin.

Batman: The gas, Joker, or I vow I will turn your smile upside down.

The Joker: Well, if it's gas you want...

[He throws a playing card at a brown bag, which falls to the stage floor. Batman dodges it in time]

The Joker: Place all tray tables in their upright positions.

[Joker laughs maniacally]

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The Joker: You have made me one very sad clown.

[discovers that Batman is gone]

The Joker: Where'd you go?

Batman: Knock-knock.

The Joker: Who's... there?

[Batman punches Joker]

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The Joker: They all said I was sick in the head. They said I needed help. Well, maybe I am a bit batty. Blame it on the bats in my belfry.

[Joker laughs maniacally]

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Batman: Stop this thing, Joker.

The Joker: With what brakes?

[They begin fighting]

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The Joker: [while fighting Batman] You know, I really love this place. My old hideout's a shambles. And these digs just scream me!

[after fighting Batman]

The Joker: Okay, take back the asylum! But mark my words: this town has happy days ahead!

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The Joker: Takes after his pa, wouldn't you say?

[Batman comes face-to-face with Joker, a clown with white skin, green hair and a huge red grin on his face]

Batman: What did you do to him?

The Joker: Just some laughing gas, drag. Don't tell me you're not an inmate.

[jumps down]

The Joker: What rational being dresses like you? Speaking of threads, think this is a good look for me?

Batman: Who are you?

The Joker: Joker.

Batman: Not what. Who?

[Batman places one hand on Joker's face. There is no sign of white paint on his hand]

The Joker: Smear-free. It's perma-clown! Ooh, tough crowd. Look. Nothing up my sleeves. Ha, ha. Nothing that won't put a smile on your face. Say cheese!

[Batman throws a batarang, which knocks Joker's weapon out of his hand]

The Joker: I'm out of gas.

Batman: And I'm out of patience!

[Batman punches Joker]

The Joker: You really know how to spoil a coming-out party. How do you expect me to spread mirth and whimsy without a proper hideout?

Batman: Listen, Joker, you're sick. You need help.

The Joker: Well, maybe I am a little off.

[kicks Batman]

The Joker: But what are you gonna do, lock me in the loony bin? I'm already here!

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Rupert Thorne: How'd you do that?

Batman: I'm the Batman.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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