[as Batman views pictures of Harley and Ivy's mug shots, then various photos of them in the middle of heists]
Alfred Pennyworth: Choosing a weekend date, sir?
[a trio of Frat boys pull up alongside Harley and Ivy, and make some lewd comments]
Poison Ivy: Now boys, didn't your mommies teach you that's not the way to get a lady's attention?
Frat Boy: [slaps his butt] And what are you gonna do, spank me?
Harley Quinn: That's right, pigs!
[raises a grenade gun]
Harley Quinn: And here's the paddle!
[yelling, the boys leap out of their car and run just before Harley blows it to pieces]
[Batman takes cover in Poison Ivy's hideout, in the middle of a toxic waste dump. Joker opens fire with a tommy gun, laughing maniacally]
Batman: Stop shooting, you lunatic! We're sitting on a powder keg!
[Joker keeps shooting, heedless, until a chemical drum ignites and sets off an enormous explosion, rocking the whole dump and whooshing toward everyone]
The Joker: Whoops... Dopey me.
Harley Quinn: I remember I used to go driving like this with Mr. J...
Poison Ivy: [mockingly] "Mr. J., Mr. J.!" Oh, change the record, Harl!
Poison Ivy: No man can take us prisoner!
[a gunshot blows the tire of their car, which skids to a stop. Montoya approaches and levels a shotgun]
Officer Renée Montoya: All right, ladies... raise 'em.
[as Harley prepares to steal the "Harlequin Diamond"]
Harley Quinn: Ooh-ooh, Mr. J is gonna plotz when he sees this...! No. No, I'm keeping this one just for myself... maybe.
[last lines; everyone is back in Arkham]
The Joker: That's it. The next time I start a gang, no women. YOU HEAR ME? NO WOMEN!
[outside, Harley and Ivy are tending the vegetable patch]
Harley Quinn: I think we can still work it out, don't you?
[Ivy flings a handful of soil in her face]