- Baby Doll: [looking at her adult reflection] Look. That's me in there. The real me. There I am. But it's not really real, is it? Just made-up and pretend, like my family and my life and everything else! Why couldn't you just let me make-believe?
- Baby Doll: [after her TV brother is rendered unconscious by her bodyguard] Sorry I had to play roughs, Tippy. I didn't mean to.
- Robin: Baby hasn't gotten every member of her cast. In the last season, the show's ratings began to drop, so the producers introduced a new character: Baby's little cousin Spunky.
- Batman: According to these, Dahl was furious that she was upstaged on her birthday episode and walked off the series.
- Robin: So why hasn't she gone after Cousin Spunky?
- Batman: Maybe she's waiting for the right occasion.
- Robin: I remember this show from when I was a kid. It still stinks.
- Commissioner James Gordon: Be that as it may, three of the cast's original actors disappeared last week.
- Batman: [looking through pictures] And these two?
- Commissioner James Gordon: Ms. Vance is in the show at Gotham Rep. I have police bodyguards following her everywhere. But that other one, Mary Dahl, dropped out of sight years ago. Ironically, the same thing that brought her fame turned her into a recluse.
- Batman: I read about her once in a medical journal. She was born with systemic hypoplasia; a rare condition that kept her from aging.
- Commissioner James Gordon: Would you believe she was 20 years old in that clip? She'd be about 30 now.
- Batman: It's obvious someone has a vendetta against these actors. We'll study this and call you back if...
- Detective Harvey Bullock: [calling over the police scanner] All units! All units! Gunfire reported at Gotham Rep! They're making a try for Vance!
- Baby-Doll: [lighting a birthday cake with a stick of dynamite as a candle] Blow out the candles, Spunky! Bet your wish doesn't come trues.
- [Spunky takes the dynamite out with his mouth and throws it away before it explodes]
- Baby-Doll: [stomping on the cake in anger] Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! Cheater!
- Summer Gleeson: Since when are you interested in has-been actors?
- Batman: Since that one's been kidnapping her co-stars.
- Summer Gleeson: You're serious?
- Batman: She's been picking them off one by one. Any reason she'd have a grudge?
- Summer Gleeson: Actually, they should hate her. Dahl put them all out of work when she quit the series to become a dramatic actress.
- Mary Louise Dahl: [showing them a tape of her performing in "Macbeth" on stage] What? Will these hands never be clean? Here's the smell of the blood still. All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Ohh... ohh... ohh...
- Robin: Pee-yew!
- Summer Gleeson: [stopping the tape] That's what the critics said. Baby's dramatic career flopped, and when she tried to start her TV show again, the networks turned her down.
- Batman: That still doesn't explain why she's after her old cast.
- Robin: Maybe there's a clue in these old episodes.
- Summer Gleeson: You can borrow them if you want. And when you crack the case, you can pay me back with an exclusive...
- [seeing they're gone]
- Summer Gleeson: ...interview.
- Baby-Doll: Naughty Mr. Batmans. You play too rough.
- [she throws a basketball, which explodes and emits a cloud of smoke]
- Robin: [coughing] I got 'em!
- Detective Harvey Bullock: It's me, dope.
- Tammy Vance: Why are you doing this?
- Goon: [attempting to abduct her at gunpoint] Quiet!
- Robin: The lady asked you a question creep!
- [arriving for a perfectly-timed rescue, kicks the goon down]
- Robin: How about an answer?