- Little Louie Groovy: Look, if your here to rob me, I ought to warn ya that I'm a karate expert and I can hurt ya. So stay back!
- [takes a stance]
- Little Louie Groovy: Heeya!
- Catwoman: [to henchmen] Karate isn't effective unless accompanied by yelling. Let him howl until he springs a vocal cord, then get him!
- Barbara Gordon: [walking into the Commissioner's office to find Batman, Robin, Commissioner Gordon, and Chief O'Hara lying on the floor to avoid the bullets from Catwoman's gun] Did somebody lose a contact lens?
- Commissioner Gordon: Get down, Barbara!
- Batman: [reading a message attached to a dart] This one was just a warning, Batman. The next one will be between your eyelids.
- Commissioner Gordon: Any signature?
- Batman: Signed: a well-wisher.
- Chief O'Hara: Well, it seems like somebody is interested in your welfare.
- The Joker: [Catwoman drives up to the recently released Joker in her Catmobile] You want a lift, big boy?
- The Joker: Make it look good Catwoman, pull a gun on me the way we planned. They're probably watching us.
- Catwoman: [draws cat gun] Get in this car or I'll blow whatever little brains you have, out!
- The Joker: [puts up his arms] She's kidnapping me, honest!
- Narrator: [narrating] And at the Sleazy Hotel, a sleazy hotel across the street from Police Headquarters...
- Batman: [Batgirl has just saved the lives of Batman & Robin in the nick of time] What took you so long, Batgirl?
- Batgirl: Rush hour traffic, plus all the lights were against me. And you wouldn't have wanted me to speed, would you?
- Robin: Your good driving habits almost cost us our lives!
- Batman: Rules are rules, Robin. But... you do have a point.
- Warden Crichton: [the Joker is being released from prison early owing to good behavior] Well, with this, eh, ten dollar bill, we hope you will seek a new life on the outside. One replete with good citizenship and fine deeds.
- The Joker: [handling the bill he's just been handed] Ten dollars, hm? I used to light my cigars with ten dollar bills, heh!