Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: [to Ramon] You know what I feel like when I hear somebody screaming, "Help! Police! Murder! Call the cops! Somebody's getting killed!" and I find a Puerto Rican beatin' the hell out of some whitey? I gotta pull out my piece and say...
[with a British accent]
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: "Hold on there! Hands in the air, police officer, thank you!"
[in normal voice]
Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: Cause it's so embarrassing!
Barney Miller: [Just as he walks in the door, a gun is pointed at his face] I hate starting the day off like this.
Barney Miller: What's the weather like?
Elizabeth Miller: It's brown.
Barney Miller: Is it raining?
Elizabeth Miller: Something is coming down but it isn't rain. I think it's a new plague. Isn't it nice?
Barney Miller: A little brown weather is normal for New York at this time of year. When it gets colder, we can look forward to a tan Christmas.