- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: All the years that I've been on the force, I've never been offered a bribe.
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Does that bother you?
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: Hell, I wouldn't take the money, but sometimes it's just nice to be asked.
- Antonio Mione: My car! Where is my car?
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: It's downstairs.
- Antonio Mione: Is it alright? Is it perfect? Is it in beautiful shape?
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Uh, it's downstairs.
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: Barney, dispatch called and they need 12 copies of Wojo's report... uh, for damage claims.
- Capt. Barney Miller: 12 copies?
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Yeah, uh, well, that's probably for the parked cars.
- Capt. Barney Miller: You busy Nick
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: I might be ?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Quarterly inventory .
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: Again, we just did one three months ago ?
- Lt. Ben Scanlon: I got the respect of every hooker and deviant between Times Square and the Village. Can you say that?
- Capt. Barney Miller: I don't think so.
- Glynn: Hey Harris, you really mean this... don't you ?
- Det. Ron Harris: Say again... ?
- Glynn: I mean, you guys are really straight out, no grease, no fooling around ? I mean, it's going to make for a nice staff study report.
- Det. Ron Harris: Come on, what are you talking about Glynn ?
- Glynn: My name is not Glynn, it's Hunt, Sergeant Michael P. Hunt, Internal Affairs.
- Det. Ron Harris: Barney
- Capt. Barney Miller: Yup
- Det. Ron Harris: He says he's a cop
- Capt. Barney Miller: Cop -- What kind of cop ?
- Glynn: Micheal P. Hunt, Internal Affairs
- Det. Ron Harris: Come on man, what are you trying to prove ?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Take it easy, Harris, Take it easy... All right. What's going on Glynn ?
- Glynn: It's not Glynn, it's Hunt
- Glynn: Glynn -- Hunt, what's the difference ? What the hell are you here about?
- Glynn: It's a normal, on-going investigation ?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Of what ?
- Glynn: It's just... a normal on-going integrity probe... character profile... that sort of stuff. Hey, come one, you guys did great ?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Who are you working for?
- Glynn: Lieutenant Scanlon.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Harris, get Scanlon on the phone. Tell him I want to see him down here right away .
- Det. Ron Harris: Yeah, me too.
- Glynn: Boy, you guys are touchy ?