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Erica Osburn: Are you surprised I'm here?

Thomas Banacek: Not yet.

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Thomas Banacek: Now how could I prefer a past that didn't include you?

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Thomas Banacek: Not here?

Erica Osburn: Any minute you'll turn on a Ravel tape or something.

Thomas Banacek: Actually, I was going to propose first.

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Thomas Banacek: You don't look overweight.

Erica Osburn: You've never seen me naked.

Thomas Banacek: Not that I remember. And I imagine I would.

Erica Osburn: You would.

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Erica Osburn: Somewhere you can check the results of my diet first hand?

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Thomas Banacek: Did I ask to get in your chopper?

Erica Osburn: You could've.

Thomas Banacek: Next time.

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Thomas Banacek: He looks like the cartoon on the soup can.

Erica Osburn: He *is* the cartoon on the soup can. Would you like to meet him?

Thomas Banacek: I've never met a real cartoon.

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Thomas Banacek: No offense, but do you always talk like that?

Cap'n Jack Osburn: Like what?

Thomas Banacek: Like a cross between Captain Ahab and Long John Silver's parrot.

Cap'n Jack Osburn: Ha-ha, you've found me out, lad.

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Thomas Banacek: I do this for a living.

Henry DeWitt: So do I. Can we get on with this?

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Simson: I was a history professor.

Thomas Banacek: Why'd you quit?

Simson: Well, history doesn't change, and I sure did.

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Thomas Banacek: She's an old friend from my non-protest period.

Erica Osburn: You're disgusting.

Thomas Banacek: I know.

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Norman Esposito: Don't say anything. He's just fishing.

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Henry DeWitt: Ten per cent of two million dollars for two days' work. That's damn near un-American.

Thomas Banacek: It might even be un-Polish. But that's the way it goes.

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Thomas Banacek: There's an old Polish proverb that says:

Thomas Banacek: When an owl comes to the mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races.

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Henry DeWitt: How do you do it, Banacek?

Thomas Banacek: Do what?

Henry DeWitt: How do you convince a man like Mr. Morgan that you're a combination of the Scarlet Pimpernel, Humphrey Bogart, and Sherlock Holmes all rolled into one?

Thomas Banacek: Elementary, my dear Fennyman, only you left out the Green Hornet.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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