Thomas Banacek: Now how could I prefer a past that didn't include you?
Thomas Banacek: Not here?
Erica Osburn: Any minute you'll turn on a Ravel tape or something.
Thomas Banacek: Actually, I was going to propose first.
Thomas Banacek: You don't look overweight.
Erica Osburn: You've never seen me naked.
Thomas Banacek: Not that I remember. And I imagine I would.
Erica Osburn: You would.
Erica Osburn: Somewhere you can check the results of my diet first hand?
Thomas Banacek: Did I ask to get in your chopper?
Erica Osburn: You could've.
Thomas Banacek: Next time.
Thomas Banacek: He looks like the cartoon on the soup can.
Erica Osburn: He *is* the cartoon on the soup can. Would you like to meet him?
Thomas Banacek: I've never met a real cartoon.
Thomas Banacek: No offense, but do you always talk like that?
Cap'n Jack Osburn: Like what?
Thomas Banacek: Like a cross between Captain Ahab and Long John Silver's parrot.
Cap'n Jack Osburn: Ha-ha, you've found me out, lad.
Simson: I was a history professor.
Thomas Banacek: Why'd you quit?
Simson: Well, history doesn't change, and I sure did.
Thomas Banacek: She's an old friend from my non-protest period.
Erica Osburn: You're disgusting.
Thomas Banacek: I know.
Henry DeWitt: Ten per cent of two million dollars for two days' work. That's damn near un-American.
Thomas Banacek: It might even be un-Polish. But that's the way it goes.
Thomas Banacek: There's an old Polish proverb that says:
Thomas Banacek: When an owl comes to the mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races.
Henry DeWitt: How do you do it, Banacek?
Thomas Banacek: Do what?
Henry DeWitt: How do you convince a man like Mr. Morgan that you're a combination of the Scarlet Pimpernel, Humphrey Bogart, and Sherlock Holmes all rolled into one?
Thomas Banacek: Elementary, my dear Fennyman, only you left out the Green Hornet.