Arrested Development (TV Series)

The One Where Michael Leaves (2004)

Portia de Rossi: Lindsay Bluth Fünke

Quotes 

• Lindsay Bluth Fünke : What did he say? Tell me the last thing he said.

  Tobias Fünke : [flashback]  I'm afraid I just blue myself.

  Michael Bluth : He said some wonderful things.

• Lindsay Bluth Fünke : Face it, Michael, Maybe the reason you keep coming back is because you need us.

  Michael : Hmmm. Oh, that's rich. Huh. I need you. Alright, I'll tell you what. Mom, you're always asking me to help you look after Buster? You can find somebody else. I hope she doesn't kill you.

  Buster : I'll kill her first!

  Michael : And good luck trying to find someone to run the business, by the way. G.O.B., instead of always coming to me looking for money, saying, "I've made a huge mistake," you can bail yourself out next time.

  Gob : I've never admitted to a mistake. What would I have made a mistake about?

  Michael : Lindsay, instead of sleeping in twin beds, why don't you and your husband take the master bedroom. It's not like you've never come to me with your marital problems saying, "Oh, help me Michael, I think my husband might be a ho..."

  [Tobias uses the airhorn] 

• Lindsay Bluth Fünke : [Tobias was run over by a car]  How is he?

  The Literal Doctor : It looks like he's dead.

  [everyone gasps in shock] 

  Michael Bluth : Wait, is he really dead or does it look like he's dead?

  The Literal Doctor : It looks like he's dead. He's covered in blue paint or something.

  [everyone starts shouting and throwing things at him] 

• Tobias Fünke : You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised... a number of couples to explore an open relationship, where the couple remains emotionally committed but free to explore extramarital encounters.

  Lindsay Bluth Fünke : Well, did it work for those people?

  Tobias Fünke : No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us.