George Michael Bluth: [to Maeby] What a fun and sexy time for you!
Byron "Buster" Bluth: Oh, for God's sake. Can't you keep my hand to yourself?
Lucille Bluth: And guess what else is back?
Michael Bluth: My breakfast?
Lucille Bluth: My friskiness. Mama horny, Michael.
Michael Bluth: No, it's my breakfast. I'm amazed Dad hasn't strangled himself with his belt yet.
Lucille Bluth: Oh, we're into all kinds of freaky stuff.
Michael Bluth: Why do I eat breakfast before I come here?
Tobias Fünke: Ooh, I can taste those meaty, leading man parts in my mouth!
Michael: [while Lindsay, George Sr., and Lucille are all doing chicken dances] Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?
Michael: Maybe it's time you went out there and got yourself a girl... PET!
Buster: How about a turtle? I love those leathery little snappy faces.
Michael: You certainly have a type.
Gob: [after learning that George Sr. has been placed under house arrest] It wont be too long until dad strangles himself with his belt.
Michael: No, it turns out that they're into that.
Tobias Fünke: Gob, I would like to be in your trick and there's someone I'd like to put in a plug for. Or... should I say 4,000 plugs?
Gob: [Tobias removes his cap and his hair plugs are bleeding] Oh god...
Lupe: Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay!
George Sr.: [describing house arrest] In prison, you just had to sit there and take it. Here, you have to sit here and give it.