Narrator: Oscar was longing for his sweet freedom.
Oscar: [to Buster] Do you have any Sweet Freedom or any of the Hawaiian blends?
Michael: [after finding out that the prison warden plans to sleep with Lucille] Who's the "I" in that sentence?
[Oscar climbs into the cage and is rendered unconscious when the hatch hits him in the head]
Narrator: It wasn't the first time Oscar had been knocked out by a heavy lid.
Michael Bluth: [Michael and GOB are trying to break into the prison] If only we had a map.
Gob: [rips off his shirt revealing a map] Like this? I drew it upside down.
Michael Bluth: This is going to be awkward.
Narrator: It was awkward.
Prison guard: [Michael is awkwardly positioned over GOB] Hey guys, if you want to party, maybe you should take it inside?
Gob: That was a freebie.
Michael Bluth: I'll just stay here and read, then.
Narrator: This too proved challenging as the Bluth family had no books.
[Michael opens up a box with copies of "The Man Inside Me"]
Narrator: Except for those. And that's when Michael got a glimpse of the warden's true intentions with his mother.
Michael Bluth: [after reading the screenplay] I wish I had read "The Man Inside Me".
Michael: Can't a guy call his mother pretty without making it seem strange?
Buster: Yeah, and how about that little tail on her? Cute!
Michael: I've opened a door here that I regret.
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, George-Michael experiences his unhappiest moment ever.
George Michael Bluth: Where's Maebe?
Tobias Fünke: She's in the next cell. Looks like we're going to be spending the night, cos!
[a giant green X appears on George-Michael]
[Gob hosts a video on Graft-Vs-Host disease]
Gob: Graft-Vs-Host. When you hear about it, it sounds like a match up between tennis great Steffi Graf and "Happy Days" star Donny Host.
Narrator: It's MOST.
Michael: We dont want to relive the TBA debacle.
Narrator: Years earlier, the Bluth's held their first fundraiser, but the family had a hard time agreeing on a cause.
George Sr.: [reading the slips] "Neckflap". "Ovarian Cancer". Gee, I wonder who that was? "Shrinkage". Somebody saw Seinfeld last night! Another one for "Neckflap".
Narrator: So they sent out invitations with the disease still to be announced. To their surprise, the Bluth's wound up raising over $25,000 dollars for TBA. Then, and here's the really horrible part, they did it again the following year.
Gob: [footage of George Michael's Star Wars Kid] Keep fighting, little guy! Soon, we'll rid the world of T.B.A.!
Michael: When they found out, we almost had a riot on our hands.
George Sr.: What do I care? I've got a great wife, a wonderful hobby... I'm having the time of my life!
Narrator: His hobby was making papier mache copies of his own head.
George Michael Bluth: Because anything can happen when two people share a cell, 'cos.
George Michael Bluth: [Maebe stares at him] It's a line from the Warden's screenplay.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: What? Oh, OH! I don't know what I was worried about.
Narrator: And that would be the happiest moment George-Michael would ever experience in his entire life.
Narrator: Buster had brought home a turtle in an incredibly misguided attempt to distance himself from his mother.
Buster: You can stay in this box of grass that Uncle Father Oscar left behind.
Narrator: Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed.