George Michael Bluth: It will just escalate like this back and fourth all day.
Narrator: And it did just that. But the footage it produced was less compelling than you might think, and was not funny no matter what music was put behind it. It was kind of funny to "Yellow Submarine" but who could afford it?
[upon seeing GOB's banana stand 'mascots']
George Michael: Are those strippers?
Michael: If I know your uncle, they're at least strippers.
Gob: Attention Everyone. Why go to a banana stand when we can make your banana stand? I give you Barbara and Dee.
[Two cheap looking, barely dressed women walk out]
Gob: Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.
Narrator: GOB had just opened up a new banana stand like 20 feet from the old banana stand.
Michael: Oh yeah? Me and my banana stand are going to kick your banana stands ass!
George Michael: It's just going to to back and fourth all day.
Narrator: And it did just that.
[shows a series of photos showing what happened]
Narrator: But the footage it produced was less entertaining than you might imagine, no matter what music was put behind it. It was kind of funny to "Yellow Submarine", but who could afford it?
Lindsay Bluth Fünke: You two have always fought. I think I have a video tape of that.
Michael: You and half of Orange County.
Narrator: As children, George Sr. would often provoke the boys to fight one another. He believed it created a competitive spirit. He also thought tapes of the footage would be a big hit in the burgeoning home video market. He soon franchised the concept with such titles as "Boyfights 2". "A Boyfights Cookout", and "Backseat Boyfights: The Trip To Uncle Jack's 70."
Michael: Oh my god, they just shot off Buster's good arm.
Byron "Buster" Bluth: And that's why you dont use a one-armed person to scare someone!
George Bluth Sr.: I certainly didn't teach Buster how to compete, and look at how he turned out!
Byron "Buster" Bluth: I think Mother is raising me just fine.
George Bluth Sr.: I used my contacts to get you a job and you quit!
Narrator: The job was at an Iraqi-owned toy store who wanted to use Buster to deter shoplifters.
George Sr.: [while Michael and GOB are teaching his father an elaborate lesson] Please don't hurt me!
Narrator: But the mistreated painters were actually looking forward to that part.
Buster: [Lucille has just had a face lift] The doctor said, "No kissing her on the face for one week." I was like, "Make it two weeks, see if I care!"
Michael: Are you just trying to get us at each other's throats like you did with the Boyfights videos?
Mexican Painter #1: Boyfights! Luchos de muchachos!
Mexican Painter #2: Si! Luchos de muchachos!
Mexican Painter #3: I have this video!
Narrator: Boyfights were a big hit in Latin America.
Steve Holt: [after GOB opens a new frozen banana stand] We don't even really know the recipe.
George Michael Bluth: There's no recipe. You just freeze a banana and stick it in the...
Michael: [quickly interrupting] Don't tell them!
Steve Holt: Stick it in the what? Stick it in the what?!