- [Mr. Humphries is showing Miss Brahms around the Men's Department]
- Mr. Humphries: They're all marked alphabetically: "B" for "braces," "G" for "gloves."
- Miss Brahms: Where's "A" for "'ankerchiefs"?
- Mr. Humphries: That comes under "H" for "'aberdashery."
- Miss Brahms: Oh! What are these jokey shorts?
- Mr. Humphries: "Jockey shorts"!
- Miss Brahms: Do you have jockeys come in here?
- Mr. Humphries: Of course not! They're just a sexy line in men's underwear.
- Miss Brahms: Oh. Well, why do you call them "jockey shorts"?
- Mr. Humphries: Well, you know, if anybody shouts "they're off," you know you're on your way to the winning post.
- Miss Brahms: You live in a dream world, don't you?
- Mr. Humphries: And down here we've got Y-fronts.
- Miss Brahms: Oh. Now, do you have Y-backs?
- Mr. Humphries: No. Strangely enough, there's not much call for those these days.
- [Mr. Grainger has spent the entire morning rushing off to the toilet because of "gastric distress." He returns from the toilet to find Miss Brahms in the Men's Department, and is unaware that she has been assigned there]
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: Mr. Humphries.
- Mr. Humphries: Yes, Mr. Grainger?
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: Send that girl back to her own department.
- Mr. Humphries: She's been seconded to us, Mr. Grainger.
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: Been what?
- Mr. Humphries: Placed here at Captain Peacock's request.
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: Well, we'll soon see about that! Captain Peacock, are you free?
- Captain Stephen Peacock: [Looks around] At present, yes.
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: Could I have a word with you?
- Captain Stephen Peacock: Yes, what is it?
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: Well, I have a very serious complaint.
- [Grimaces]
- Mr. Ernest Grainger: Oh, damn...
- [Runs off to the toilet]
- Captain Stephen Peacock: It doesn't appear to be getting any better!