Photos
Quotes
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Angel : You know, this really is just a place to live.
Cordelia : No, It's more. It's beautiful - and if it goes away it's like...
Angel : Like what?
Cordelia : Like I'm still getting punished.
Angel : Punished?
[Cordy nods]
Angel : For what?
Cordelia : I don't know. For what I was? For everything I said in High School just because I could get away with it? And then it all ended, and I had to pay. Oh, but this apartment - I could be me again. Punishment over Welcome back to your life! Like - like, I couldn't be that awful if I get to have a place like that? It's just like you!
Angel : Working for redemption.
Cordelia : I meant because you used to have that mansion.
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Allen Francis Doyle : Hey, you high school diploma is all burned.
Cordelia : Yeah, it was a rough ceremony.
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Cordelia : I think you're gonna pack your little ghost bags and get the hell out of my house.
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Cordelia : Your cousin called with one of those names from your part of England.
Allen Francis Doyle : My part of *England*?
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Cordelia : I'm not a sniveling, whiny, little cry-Buffy. I'm the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history. I take crap from no one.
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Cordelia : [On the phone in her new apartment] God, Aura. I can't believe I missed your calls! It's that incompetent girl at work. But things are going great. - Well, my new apartment for one thing. Celebrities are practically on top of me. Oh, Steve Paymer, - that's Dave Paymer's brother lives right down the hall. Oh, you'd know him if you saw him. And my view, it's amazing! - Yeah, I have a room mate, but it's cool. I never see him.
[Her can of diet root beer slides away from her on the sofa table and she puts her hand over the receiver]
Cordelia : Hey, hey - Phantom Dennis, put that back.
[Can slides back. To Aura]
Cordelia : All in all, its working out great.
[the TV turns on and Cordy covers up the receiver again]
Cordelia : Dennis, when I'm on the phone, that's quiet time.
[TV turns off]
Cordelia : Thanks.
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Cordelia : [to Angel] You have mousse? Of course you do.
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Cordelia : Back off, Polygrip! You think you're bad? All mean and haunty? Picking on poor, pathetic Cordy? Well, get ready to haul your wrinkly, translucent ass out of this place, 'cause lady, the bitch is back.
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Cordelia : [after discovering a poltergeist in her apartment] I just knew this was to good to be true. I just knew it! I'm from Sunnydale, you're not scaring me, you know. No. You're not scaring me. You're not scaring me. Not one bit.
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Allen Francis Doyle : [the ghost is writing in blood on Cordelia's wall] Cordy, it says 'die'!
Cordelia : Hey, maybe it's not done. Maybe it's 'diet'. That's friendly. A little judgmental, sure.
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Cordelia : First thing, I hire someone to take out that wall.
Allen Francis Doyle : I thought you said it was perfect?
Cordelia : Yes. And part of it being perfect is there being one *tiny* flaw for me to fix.
Allen Francis Doyle : Ah, must be why you find me so fascinating.
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Young Man : [Showing Cordy an apartment] It's like a community, you know? We share all the upkeep and chores.
Cordelia : My urination just hasn't been public enough lately.
Young Man : Oh, we don't believe in barriers. It's the first rule of the great leader.
[Cordy and Doyle share a look]
Young Man : Ah, you can come to the meetings if you want. Every morning at 5:00.
Cordelia : Okay, that's just a touch too early for me.
Young Man : Oh, you'll be up. The Chanting starts at 4:00.
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Allen Francis Doyle : If you ever wanna, you know, spend one night away from the place, maybe give me a call.
Cordelia : Well, stranger things have happened. No, wait... they really haven't.
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Cordelia : [about Angel] The man doesn't even have a mirror. Like it would kill him to not see himself?
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Cordelia : Little old lady ghost. How come Patrick Swayze is never dead when you need him?
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Cordelia : I've had it with these cheap trash bags! They leak and break and end up costing us more!
[Drops bag in front of Doyle]
Allen Francis Doyle : I believe it.
Cordelia : Yeah, It was a great audition! I was all about things leaking. How could they not pick me?
Allen Francis Doyle : They don't know what they missed.
Cordelia : They gave it to a blonde that showed up in a skintight leather cat suit. She is supposed to be a housewife! She looked ridiculous. She looked like cat-woman taking out the cat-trash.
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Cordelia : I'll leave. I'm sorry your son killed you. You can have the apartment. Just let me go.
Maude Pearson : It's too late for that.
Cordelia : No.
Maude Pearson : You know what happens next. Your friends are dirty. They ruined my nice home. I knew you were trouble right from the start.
[Cordy drops to the floor and sobs]
Maude Pearson : I'm surprised that my son didn't smell the stench of poverty and failure on you. - I can.
Cordelia : I'm sorry.
Maude Pearson : You better be sorry you stupid little bitch.
Cordelia : [stops crying and being upset] I am a bitch.
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Cordelia : This is easy. Little Old Lady ghost, probably hanging around 'cause she thinks she left the iron on.
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Cordelia : [looking at her new place] Oh, my gosh. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?
Allen Francis Doyle : [looking at her] No, never.
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Cordelia : Who ever you think you're talking to, it's not me. My name is Cordelia.
Maude Pearson : Oh, that's the name of a cheap small-town tramp trying to sound better than she is. You're not good enough for my boy. This will never be your home.
Cordelia : This is my home. My friends will come here.
Maude Pearson : You don't have any friends. Why would anybody care about you? Nobody really cares. You don't deserve to live here. You don't deserve *anything*.
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Cordelia : [At Angel's office, the phone rings] Angel investigations, we help the hopeless, if that's you, leave a message.
Maude Pearson : [on the phone in Angel's voice] Cordelia, are you there? Look, I think we can end this whole thing.
Cordelia : [Cordy picks up the phone] I'm here. About time you called. You got something?
Maude Pearson : [in Angel's voice, on the phone] Meet me at the apartment and we'll figure out what to do.
Cordelia : Okay.
[hangs up the phone and leaves as she unlocks the door to her apartment. She looks around the dark and empty apartment]
Maude Pearson : [in Angel's voice] Cordelia, I'm in the bedroom.
Cordelia : Angel?
Maude Pearson : [in Angel's voice] You have my call.
[Cordelia runs out of the bedroom. The apartment door won't open. She flies backwards through the air. As she picks herself up Maude is standing there]
Maude Pearson : Poor thing. You just don't fit in around here, do you? Too bad you wouldn't leave my son alone.
Cordelia : Your-your son?
