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"Angel" Offspring (TV Episode 2001) Poster

(TV Series)

(2001)

Quotes

Angel: Darla.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Darla?

Cordelia Chase: Darla?

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Who's Darla?

Charles Gunn: Angel's old flame from way back.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Not the one who died?

Charles Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one, the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Do y'all have a chart or somethin'?

Charles Gunn: In the files. I'll get it for you later.

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Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Can I say somethin' about destiny? Screw destiny! If this evil thing comes, we'll fight it and we'll keep fightin' it until we whup it. 'Cause destiny is just another word for inevitable, and nothing's inevitable as long as you stand up, look it in the eye, and say, "You're evitable!"

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Angel: [about Darla] She bit Cordy.

Lorne: Oh, sweetie. Are you alright?

Angel: No. Where is she?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She got away.

Charles Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces, but...

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[a local mother sees the pregnant Darla walk off with a little boy]

Mother: You're a brave woman. About to have one, taking the other one out to play.

Darla: Oh, I love children. I could just... eat 'em up.

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Darla: You so wanna play the good guy, don't you? Yeah, you're the good guy who did this to me! You may have the face, but you don't know the hunger. It pounds! You can't make it go away! You can't stop it!

Angel: I'll stop it!

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Angel: You know, I've been around a long time...

Cordelia Chase: Which reminds me, next birthday, you think we could skip the two hundred and fifty odd candles on the cake and the inevitable fire marshall and just go with a little song?

Angel: And I've never known anyone like you.

Cordelia Chase: Well, duh.

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Cordelia Chase: [Angel is leering at Cordelia] Okay, it's getting creepy now.

Angel: I was just thinkin' about things. People. You know, how they relate. Take you and me, for instance. You know, we're very different. *Very* different, obviously. Human, vampire. Woman, man... pire.

Cordelia Chase: Has someone been putting vodka in your blood?

Angel: [nervous laughter] See? You're funny! And I - Well, I get off a good one every once in a while, but you...

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Lorne: This is way beyond my Ken... and my Barbie, and all my action figures.

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[first lines]

Daniel Holtz: [in Italian] Thank you, Monseigneur. I am in your debt.

Monseigneur: [in Italian] No, this animal murdered your family. Hold the beast.

Daniel Holtz: [to Angel, in English] Monseigneur Rivalli performed the ceremony when Caroline and I were wed. You remember Caroline.

Angel: [in English] A pretty lass. Hardly screamer.

Daniel Holtz: [in English] The great Monseigneur's since been ex-communicated. The order he founded, "inquisitori", adheres to the old beliefs. They're traditionalists and quite good at their work. Let's get started, shall we?

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Angel: Darling...?

Darla: What?

Angel: ...Shouldn't we be killing Holtz?

Darla: I know. But it's just so much fun ruining his life. He's like family now.

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Darla: [to Bus Driver] Right here's fine. Thanks for the lift. That didn't take long at all. And they say there's no public transportation in L.A.

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Cordelia Chase: Time's a wasting, big guy. Can we do it?

Angel: Okay, last time, we were working on not pulling your punches and your kicks, right? Don't worry about me.

[Cordelia begins throwing punches]

Angel: That's good. Good. That's it. Now where's your weight? Balls of your feet. Don't forget to follow...

[Cordelia punches Angel in the face]

Cordelia Chase: Oops! Oh, God! You said that...

[Angel smiles at Cordelia and appears unhurt]

Cordelia Chase: Are you alright?

Angel: I'm a vampire. You can't hurt me. Good.

[Cordelia laughs and as Angel turns away from her his face twists up in pain and he grabs his nose]

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Cordelia Chase: Angel, are you trying to say you love me?

Angel: What?

Cordelia Chase: I love you, too.

Angel: You do? When did this...?

Cordelia Chase: [to Wes, Gunn, and Fred] Angel loves me, I love him!

Angel: Oh, my God.

Cordelia Chase: You guys love us and we love you.

Charles GunnWesley Wyndam-PryceWinifred 'Fred' Burkle: We love you, Angel!

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Cordelia Chase: Hey, what are friends for?

Darla: You ask me, they're for knocking you up and leaving you high and dry.

[to Angel]

Darla: Hello, lover. Long time no see.

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Darla: [seeing the pregnant Darla] This is impossible.

Angel: Tell me about it, Daddy.

Cordelia Chase: You slept with her?

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Darla: [to Angel] What did you do to me?

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Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [to Darla] Hi, I'm Fred. Is water okay, or do you want some blood?

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Cordelia Chase: What can we do for you?

Darla: Well, you can get your little gang of supernatural detectives to find out what the hell is happening to me and how to stop it.

Cordelia Chase: [to Angel] Are you going to take some responsibility here? Angel?

Angel: Oh, me? Of course I am. Wes, let's get on this right now.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What do you suggest?

Angel: I suggest you ah, use your books and find out what's going on. What do I have to think of everything?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [opening a book] Oh, here it is. It says: "I have absolutely no idea what's going on". We should talk to The Host.

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Fury #1Fury #2Fury #3: Mmmm, Angel!

Cordelia Chase: And here we have three more of Angel's chippies. You girls are on the pill, I hope.

Fury #1Fury #2Fury #3: Mmmm...

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Darla: [singing] Oh, Danny Boy, what the Hell's inside me?

Lorne: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We're way beyond singing mes enfants. This is a brand new day, here. Alright, everybody. That's a wrap. We'll finish the spell tomorrow. We got a little crisis brewing. Thanks for coming. Check's in the mail. Get the hell out.

Fury #1: Bye, Angel...

Fury #2: ...Come see...

Fury #3: ...Us soon.

Fury #1Fury #2Fury #3: Mmmm...

Cordelia Chase: [to Lorne] Men.

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Charles Gunn: [about the baby Darla is carrying] Maybe it's some kind of über-vamp?

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Cordelia Chase: How are you feeling?

Darla: Just crazy.

Cordelia Chase: What?

Darla: Why would anyone bring something into the world?

Cordelia Chase: I was pregnant once. I was out to here overnight. Mystical thing. I didn't go to term, but while it lasted, woo... talk about uncomfortable. Your back and legs hurt all the time. And first, you're sick to your stomach and you can't eat anything in the world. And then you're ravenous. Are you able to eat, or do you just...

Darla: What? Drink?

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Angel: [to Darla, who is biting Cordelia] Get away from her!

[to Cordelia]

Angel: You're gonna be alright. You're gonna be alright. Cordy, you're gonna be alright. Here. I'll kill her for this.

Cordelia Chase: You're gonna have to find her first.

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Angel: [talking about Darla] Where is she?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She got away.

Charles Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fist and feet with our faces.

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Darla: Go on, do it. Do it! Do it, do it! It won't stop!

Angel: No, it won't. Darla, it won't. Darla, Darla...

Darla: It won't stop!

Angel: Listen, it has a soul.

Darla: What?

Angel: The child. The child has a heart beat, it has a soul.

Darla: Not my child!

Angel: Our child, our child. That's why you've been craving pure, pure blood. That's why it's been driving you out of your mind! It has a soul.

Darla: No, it doesn't.

Angel: It does.

Darla: It can't.

Angel: Yes, it does. Yes, it does.

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Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [to Angel, Wes and Cordelia] I believe that whatever this thing is, it's arriving right about... three, two, now.

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[last lines]

Daniel Holtz: [about Angel] Just tell me where he is.

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Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can explain to them why you keep so much G.H.B. on hand. You know, Rohypnol, the date-rape drug.

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Cordelia Chase: [to Wesley] It was a dream, but it was more like a vision.

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Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I wonder if this might not be that bad thing we were expecting.

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Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: When I see you and Cordelia sparring, kyrumption always comes to mind.

Angel: Me and Cordelia?

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I know. She's such a hero, with the visions and the courage. It's only natural that you and she will be drawn to one another.

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Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Gunn about the prophecy] It predicts and arrival or arising of the Tro-Clon. A personal being that brings about the ruination of Mankind.

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Angel: [looking at the ultrasound] Isn't that a head?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think it is, or is that the head?

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Maybe you're both right.

[everybody turns to look at her]

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It's not like I'm suggesting it's an evil two headed thing...

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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