Angel: [to Wesley] What happened?
Spike: [stepping in front of Wesley] I can explain. Apparently when Percy here was younger he used to be known as Head Boy.
Angel: Yeah, I already knew that.
Spike: Right. I have nothing else to report.
Spike: Oh, Eve's stuck in the elevator.
Charles Gunn: So tell maintenance.
Spike: Well, where the bloody hell is maint - Oh, to be honest, I don't really care.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: As you may well know, the Watcher's Council was destroyed last year.
Wesley: I heard.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: The remaining former Watchers, myself included, have decided to reform the Council and I've been sent to contact you.
Wesley: Are you saying the Council wants me to come back?
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Not necessarily. Your name's proven to be a point of contention. There are some who believe that your tenure as Watcher ranks as our most embarrassing failure.
Wesley: Really? I beat out everybody dying in an explosion... as most embarrassing failure.
Fred: [about the cyborg] This thing really blurs the line between human and robot.
Spike: Aha. So you're not ruling out that a human being could have boffed a robot.
[everyone stares at him]
Spike: Sex with robots is more common than most people think.
Fred: [after Wesley kills a robot of his father] Part of you knew. Even if you can't admit it to yourself, part of you knew it wasn't him.
Wesley: No. I was sure it was him. You were there. I killed my father.
Fred: He was threatening your friends.
Wesley: He was threatening you. He pointed a gun at you, Fred... so I shot him.
Wesley: Everyone, I'd like you to meet my father Roger Wyndam-Price.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Hello.
Spike: Daddy, eh? I always thought Wesley was grown in some sort of greenhouse for dandies.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Spike.
Spike: You've heard of me?
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: No. We've met. 1963, my colleagues and I fell upon you slaughtering an orphanage in Vienna. Killed two of my men before you escaped.
Spike: [awkward silence] Oh. How've you been?
Wesley: Lorne runs our entertainment division.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Entertainment division? Well, I can see how that would be very useful in the fight against evil.
Charles Gunn: You'd be amazed at how many horrible movies we've stopped.
Lorne: So I am covered in cherries. The police are just pounding on the door, and Judi Dench starts screaming, "Oh, that's way too much to pay for a pair of pants!"
Angel: [trying to comfort Wes after he had to shoot a robot he though was his father] You know... I killed my actual dad. It was one of the first things I did when I became a vampire.
Wesley: I hardly see how that's the same situation.
Angel: Yeah. I didn't really think that one through.
[moments later; Spike appears]
Spike: Don't know if you know this, but, uh, I killed my mum. Actually, I'd already killed her, and then she tried to shag me, so I had to, uh...
Wesley: [looks freaked out] Thank you. I'm... very comforted. Right.
[power goes out in elevator]
Eve: That's odd.
Spike: I know what this is. You'll never take me to hell, Pavayne!
[emergency power comes on]
Spike: Oh. Well, that's just something I say... when, uh... it gets dark.
Emil: You're making me so hot right now.
Fred: Wow, turned on by a woman holding an enormous gun. What a surprise.
Wesley: If you're here to tell me about how you killed your parents, perhaps it could wait for another time?