Sheriff Andy Taylor: Jim?
Jim Lindsey: Hm?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Why in the world don't you do somethin' about yourself?
Jim Lindsey: What do you mean, Andy?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, you got a fine talent there. You're the best guitar player I ever heard.
Jim Lindsey: Well, that's mighty nice of you, Andy... but Mayberry ain't very big.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, who says you got to stay in Mayberry? You heard all these fellas that come through here playin' in the shows. How 'bout that fella we see every now and then on television, a'shakin' and a'screamin' - sounds like somebody's beatin' his dog. You're better than all of them.
Jim Lindsey: Well, now, I wouldn't say that.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, yes, you are, too.
[Shortly after Sheriff Taylor arrests Jim Lindsey, they jam together on guitars in the jailhouse]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: [singing solo as they play] Ridin' on that new river train. Ridin' on that new river train. Same old train that brought me here gonna take me back again.
[Andy and Jim play through an instrumental passage]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Darlin', you can't love one. Darlin', you can't love one. Can't love one and have any fun. Oh, darlin', you can't love one.
[Deputy Barney Fife enters the jailhouse during a second instrumental passage]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Sing, Barney.
Sheriff Andy Taylor, Deputy Barney Fife: [together, as Jim and Andy continue to play] Ridin' on that new river train. Ridin on that new river train. Same old train that brought me here gonna take me home again.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: One more.
Sheriff Andy Taylor, Deputy Barney Fife: [Andy and Barney sing together as song concludes with Andy and Jim on their guitars] Ridin' on that new river train. Ridin' on that new river train. Same old train that brought me here gonna take me back again.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: [Bobby Fleet and his band members, arrested off screen, now stand at Andy's desk] Guilty as charged. That'll be twenty dollars or 24 hours in jail.
Bobby Fleet: [quickly spoken, in frustration] Twenty fish for a crummy parking rap?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, we try to keep it low for the first offense.
Bobby Fleet: Yeah, and how much of the twenty do you stick in your own kick?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Ohh, I wished you hadn't a said that. I mean, I don't mind an insult personally but, why, you've offended the dignity of my robes. Now, let's see... what is our price for robe dignity offendin'? Why, that's $50.
Bobby Fleet: [quickly spoken, in frustration] $50?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Yeah, plus the twenty, that's seventy altogether.
Bobby Fleet: Aw, come on now! Now, look Sheriff, there's no reason to get hot under the collar over this. I mean, uh, you've got your job to do, and I've got mine. Now, uhh... Oh, that reminds me. We're gonna be playin' at the capitol over the weekend. Now, how would you and your fine deputy here like to come and see us, huh? I'll see that you have a big time. Oh, you'll be my guests, of course.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Ohhh. Now, you have REALLY done it.
Bobby Fleet: [spoken very quickly, in exasperation] What, what, what, what, what?
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, you just tried to bribe me is all. That's the worst thing anybody can do. I hate to tell you what the fine is on that.
Bobby Fleet: Never mind. I don't care what the fine is. I'm not gonna pay it.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Oh, you mean you'll take the 24 hours?
Bobby Fleet: That's just what I mean. No hick Sheriff is gonna bleed me. We'll all stay overnight.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, that's the way it'll be then.
[Andy bangs his gavel, closing the case]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Deputy, lock up the prisoners.
Deputy Barney Fife: Glad to! All right, let's move it along! Come on, on the double there! Come on, let's look sharp! Look sharp! Come on, get in there. And suck in that gut!
Jim Lindsey: Hey, you know somethin'? I'd rather be arrested by you folks than anybody I know.
Opie Taylor: [entering the courthouse] Hi. You seen my pa? He's the sheriff.
Bobby Fleet: You mean he's human enough to have kids?
Opie Taylor: Huh?
Bobby Fleet: Never mind. He stepped out for a minute.
Opie Taylor: Oh.
Opie Taylor: [looking at all the fellas] Pa musta rounded up a gang. You look like from the city. Are you a criminal?
Bobby Fleet: According to your pa I am.
Opie Taylor: Pa's never wrong. What crime did you do, criminal?
Bobby Fleet: I didn't do anything. Your old man framed the whole thing - the hick troublemaker.
[Offended at this, Opie kicks Bobby in the shin]