- [Andy, Barney and the recruiting sergeant watch as Ernest T. Bass incurs his wrath on Mayberry for not getting into the Army]
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Look at him go! He's a strange one!
- Recruiting Sergeant: He's a wild one!
- Deputy Barney Fife: He's a nut!
- Ernest T. Bass: [telling Andy about how girls react to someone coming home in a military uniform] Jelsey, walk with me! Jelsey, dance with me! Jelsey, kiss my mouth!.
- Army Doctor: Say, "Ahh".
- Ernest T. Bass: Ah.
- Army Doctor: Could you stretch that out a little?
- Ernest T. Bass: Ahhhhhh...
- [the doctor looks down his throat, then starts checking his ear. Ernest T. repeats]
- Ernest T. Bass: Ahhhhhhh...
- Army Doctor: No, that was just for your throat.
- Ernest T. Bass: Whaddya want me to say for this?
- Army Doctor: Hush!
- Ernest T. Bass: Huuuuush... .