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Quotes

Monty Hall: Miss Hadaes. She loves the smell of brimstone and deviled ham. She can have my soul anytime.

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Eli Excelsior Pandarus: This worked out perfectly. I needed 2 eye witnesses to our blessed union and vioula. Here you are. Just hanging around.

Jake Long: [chained to the wall with a sphinx hair net over him] Fu, watch out! Pandarus is going to take the winner of the pageant and make her his bride!

Fu Dog: Your looking at her kid.

Jake's Grandfather: [also chained] What? You won?

Jake Long: No way!

Fu Dog: Is that sooooo hard to believe?

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Santa Claus: Sorry hon, but your definitely on my naughty list and my ugly list. You should donate that body to science. Science fiction that is.

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Fu Dog: Hey Carol, you want to shake those things my way?

[Carol slaps him]

Fu Dog: I was talking about your wings! What do you expect from a ditsy dame?

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Eli Excelsior Pandarus: You look familiar. Do I know you?

Jake Long: I did your hair! When you did Good Magical Morning New York. You could need a good jugging -

Jake's Grandfather: [pulls Jake away]

Jake Long: Don't forget to condition, trim those side burns, skip a days shampoeing and -

Jake's Grandfather: ENOUGH!

Jake Long: [stops talking]

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Fu Dog: Suzi, this is my stylist. Sven.

Jake Long: [in a girly voice] Eek! Split ends!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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