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Memorable quotes for
"American Dad!" Roger Codger (2005)

Steve Smith: Don't you have any feelings?
Stanley Smith: Son, feelings are what women have. They come from their ovaries.

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Newspaper Headline: Economy Turns Corner, Falls Down Stairs

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Father Donovan: Look, according to the church there are no pets in heaven. Eligible for heaven: You got your men, women, children and apes who use sign language. Not going to heaven: You got your pets, your dinosaurs, your smart types and self-aware robots.

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Roger the Alien: Don't hurt me! I know it sounds cliche, but I mean you no harm!
Stanley Smith: You're the alien? But they said you'd be bigger, and with claws.
Roger the Alien: Oh, I've got claws. Look how fat you are. See? Kitty can scratch.

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Avery Bullock: Naturally, recapturing this fugitive is our top priority. Then we can track down the bastards that have been harboring it and punish them brutally. I mean, really brutally. Weird stuff. Butt stuff.

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Stanley Smith: [Stan is brushing his teeth, and breaks the toothbrush] Damn Chinese toothbrushes! You know, they can make a chicken taste like an orange, but when it comes to oral hygiene, they really phone it in.

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Francine Smith: We're so glad you could make it. Where's your wife this evening?
Bullock: Handcuffed to a radiator in Fallujah. She wanted to come, but I do not negotiate with terrorists. Hey, do I smell meat loaf?

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Roger the Alien: God! Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay?

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[phone rings, Hayley answers]
Hayley Smith: Hello?
Roger the Alien: Hayley? Roger. Got a sec?
Hayley Smith: Roger? Whoah! Is this one of those Twilight Zone phones where I can talk to the dead, but only with horrible, ironic consequences?
Roger the Alien: Oh, right, it's past noon, you're already high.

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[Stan is about to shoot Roger; Francine, Hayley and Steve stand in the way]
Stanley Smith: Nobody threatens my family! Now get out of the way or I'll shoot you all!
Hayley Smith: Oh, God, it's my junior prom all over again.

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Stanley Smith: My butt is on the line!
Roger the Alien: Well, that must be one massive line, 'cause your butt is huge!

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Bullock: Naturally, recapturing this fugitive is our top priority. Then we can track down the bastards that have been harboring it and punish them brutally. I mean, really brutally. Weird stuff. Butt stuff.

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