Laura Grant: My main concern is to find a proper place for the child.
Archie Bunker: Oh, hey, I wanna do that too. But, I wanna be sure she goes... Um, with her own kind. Well, what I mean to say, as you know yourself, that certain mixtures, see, they don't... Uh, mix.
Laura Grant: What kind of mixtures did you have in mind?
Archie Bunker: Well you know, the wrong mixtures. Present company suspected.
Archie Bunker: Some red nail polish, Edith? Why didn't you just buy her some rouge, high heels and a lamp post.
Archie Bunker: Do you know the kind of money it takes to raise a child? You know, yanking out the tonsils and the adenoods. Straightening the teeth, straightening the eyes.
Edith Bunker: Her eyes?
Archie Bunker: All girls go cock-eyed during puberescency.
Edith Bunker: He's really a wonderful man, my husband, and underneath he's very sweet.
Archie Bunker: Damn that Barney Hefner, I'm gonna murder him. Look what happened to me just now: I nearly busted an ankle jumping over two pyramids that Barney's dog left on our sidewalk.