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Quotes

[after Archie stuffs his breakfast into his pockets and leaves]

Mike Stivic: That man is on something.

Gloria: Bananas.

Edith: He's on bananas?

Archie Bunker: Go take care of the bathroom wall.

Manuel: What's wrong with it?

Archie Bunker: The poem is back about the man from Nantucket.

Archie Bunker: [Working a crossword puzzle] A four letter Italian word for "goodbye". Bang. B-A-N-G.

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Manuel: The piano, the refrigerator, everything was possessed and you got to go to Sicily to play the pin ball machine. This is a bad day for me.

Archie: A bad day for you?

Manuel: Yeah, I was going to ask you for a raise.

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Archie: Youse all seen a bar in a motel, right? But who the hell ever heard a motel in a bar?

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Mike Stivic: Arch, let me help you close up.

Archie Bunker: No. To close up is to close down, to close down is to go out of business. Never close, stay open all the time.

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Archie Bunker: There's a gas station, only the pumps ain't pumping gas. See, they got a pump for scotch and a pump for bourbon. They also got a premium pump, little girl, and you know what the premium pump is for? Champagne.

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Archie: Manuel, you got the stuff?

Manuel: Stuff?

Archie: You know, the P-I-L-Z.

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Archie: Business ain't too, what-do-you-call, quick on Friday nights.

Mike Stivic: Why is that?

Archie: Uh, nobody knows.

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Barney Hefner: I'm just on my way to the can.

Archie Bunker: Hold it there, Barney! You come into my joint to use the can?

Barney Hefner: I couldn't make it home from McFeeny's. I'm up to here in beer.

Archie Bunker: Hold it, hold it there, Barney. So you take it on at McFeeny's and you let it out at Archie's. You're getting more like your dog Rusty every day.

Barney Hefner: That is gross, Arch!

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Archie: Archie's Place. Fresh beer on tap. Family environment, we cater to straights.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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