Archie Bunker: Now, thinking quick, I start giving her mouth to mouth restitution.
Archie: So I was drivin' by Kennedy...
Edith: Kennedy airport?
Archie: No, Cape Kennedy. I'm looking for a flight to the moon.
Beverly LaSalle: [Beverly LaSalle comes by to thank Archie for his life-saving help earlier] The doctor said it was complete exhaustion. I'd been working very hard, and I guess I was just worn out.
Edith: Ohhhh, well it was a good thing you wore out with Archie, 'cause he learned how to save peoples' lives in the toilet at work.
Beverly LaSalle: Oh. He saved mine in a cab.
Beverly LaSalle: I'm a female impersonator.
Edith Bunker: Ain't that interestin'. Y'know, that's smart, too. I mean, who can imitate a female better than a lady?
Beverly LaSalle: I was telling your wife, Mr Bunker, I'm no lady.
Archie Bunker: Oh. Well listen, how you earned this 50 is no business of mine.
Edith Bunker: I ain't been so proud of you since Uncle Willie cut his finger carving the Thanksgiving turkey and you stopped the bleeding by tying it up with the string they used to tie up the turkey's you-know-what with.
Archie Bunker: How can you do that all in one breath?
Beverly LaSalle: I'm afraid you don't understand, Mrs Bunker. I'm a transvestite.
Edith Bunker: Well, you sure fooled me. I mean, you ain't got no accent at all.
Mike Stivic: [Archie had saved the life of a female impersonator, unbeknownst to him] If you had known he was a man, what would you have done?
Archie Bunker: I suppose I would've got a fag fireman.
Archie Bunker: Now along comes this colored cop, see, and he wants to take over the mouth-to-mouth, but I'm thinking fast. I say no, I send him for the ambulance, you know, because if you give a person the wrong breath type, you could kill that person.
Archie Bunker: [Mike comes into the Bunker living room, wearing his bath robe] Awww, Jeez, look at this. Are you moving back, or are you just payin' us a short visit in your Polish tuxedo?
Mike Stivic: You'd be surprised how many married guys with kids are transvestites.
Archie Bunker: How is it you know so much about these things? Let me see your underwear.