Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: I just had the most terrible experience of my life!
Mel Sharples: All hotels had "no vacancy" signs?
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: When Curly Norris drove me to my trailer this mornin', a terrible thing had happened while I was gone. I couldn't believe it! Curly couldn't believe it either!
Mel Sharples: Your waterbed froze?
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: No! My trailer was robbed!
Alice Hyatt: What?
Vera Louise Gorman: You're kidding!
Alice Hyatt: Whaddaya mean, robbed?
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: Robbed!
Mel Sharples: What'd they take?
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: My whole house! Some turkey towed away my trailer!
Vera Louise Gorman: Are you sure it's missing?
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: Vera, when y'go up t'open the front door and there ain't no front door, it don't take a genius to figure out that the house is gone!
Alice Hyatt: They took the whole trailer?
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: The whole trailer, all that was left was the cement step and the sewer connection! I lost everything... all my Eddy Arnold records... that autographed photo of Dale Evans... anything that was of any sentimental value like - my three divorce certificates!
Vera Louise Gorman: Did you call the sheriff?
Alice Hyatt: The cops'll find it, honey.
Vera Louise Gorman: I hope you gave them a good description of your trailer.
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: They all know it.
Mel Sharples: How many trailers have mirrored ceilings?
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: Mel, kiss my grits! I told the sheriff I'd offer a real special reward for whoever found it.
Alice Hyatt: Yeah? I'll bet three squad cars smashed into each other trying to be the first outta the station!
Vera Louise Gorman: Well, whatever the reward was I'll double it.
Mel Sharples: That'll call off the search.
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: All I've got left in the world is what's in them two bags. Well, no point in cryin' about it, I guess they'll find it.
Alice Hyatt: Listen, Floey, stay with me till they find your trailer, huh?
Florence Jean 'Flo' Castleberry: Oh, honey, you're crowded enough.
Vera Louise Gorman: Flo's right. There's an old saying: "Guests and fish begin to stink after three days."