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"The Addams Family" Portrait of Gomez (TV Episode 1965) Poster

Quotes

[the family enjoys some front yard moonbathing]

Morticia Frump Addams: Gomez, darling, do be careful. You know how prone you are to moonburn.

Gomez Addams: Never fear, Querida. My skin is so white it won't peel anymore.

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Morticia Frump Addams: This is the bitterest blow since the city made us fill in our lovely patch of quicksand.

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[Morticia gives Gomez a driving lesson]

Morticia Frump Addams: Now, darling, listen: You're going through a school zone.

Gomez Addams: School zone.

Morticia Frump Addams: Your speedometer is registering seventy-five miles an hour.

Gomez Addams: Seventy-five per.

Morticia Frump Addams: What are you doing wrong?

Gomez Addams: Blocking traffic?

Morticia Frump Addams: Think, darling. THINK!

Gomez Addams: Of course! I'm not waving to the little nippers as I drive by. "Hi ya, kids! How are ya!"

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Morticia Frump Addams: [reporting on Gomez] He's taking his written test.

Uncle Fester Frump: Good. Then he'll never get to the driver's test.

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Gomez Addams: [to the Strife photographer] Strife Magazine has been one of our favorites.

Morticia Frump Addams: We simply devour it from cover to cover.

Uncle Fester Frump: Aw, it's delicious.

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Morticia Frump Addams: Uncle Fester, how 'bout you? Would you like another little dab of lanolin?

Uncle Fester Frump: Ah, no, thanks. I like it but it gives me heartburn.

Morticia Frump Addams: Uncle Fester, the last time we moonbathed you ate the goose grease, this time the lanolin.

Uncle Fester Frump: Well, what'd you expect me to do with it, smear it all over my face?

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Morticia Frump Addams: You were such a distinguished little baby, with such a distinguished little mustache.

Gomez Addams: Yes. Saved Mama the trouble of straining the baby food.

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[the search for Gomez's favorite photographer ends]

Morticia Frump Addams: He now works for the Department of Motor Vehicles. He takes the pictures they use on the driver's licenses.

Gomez Addams: What a proud thing it is to live in a state with such high aesthetic requirements.

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[Gomez has never been able to drive]

Gomez Addams: True, but there's very little I don't know about the modern horseless carriage.

Uncle Fester Frump: Except how to shift gears.

Morticia Frump Addams: And steer.

Uncle Fester Frump: Yeah, and, uh, put on the breaks.

Gomez Addams: Well, those things DO give me a little trouble.

Uncle Fester Frump: A LITTLE trouble! Remember the Blue Falconberg we had?

Gomez Addams: Heh-heh, Big Blue! Ho-ho, nothing could stop that car. Scorching desert. Snow-covered mountains. She could go anywhere!

Morticia Frump Addams: Except between two streetcars.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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