It's midnight on the 13th wedding anniversary of Gomez and Morticia. The whole family is up in celebration, and the happy couple are obliged to tell the story of how they first met, how Grandmama and Granny Frump converged to pair up Gomez with - not Morticia but Morticia's older sister Ophelia, with whom sickly Gomez took up an almost immediate and implacable disinterest. For Morticia, on the other hand... Written by
Did You Know?
When Grandmama explains about being high school friends with Hester Frump, she is facing Gomez. It then cuts to a longer shot, and she is facing Morticia. See more
Gomez, are you gonna spend your whole life sitting there when romance is on the way?
How can I think of romance when my bronchial tubes are collapsing?
You're the one that's collapsing. Been sitting at that contraption for twenty-two years. It's time you tried a girl.
I don't like girls.
Well, you can't marry a vaporizer.